I don't know where to begin. This week has taken the norm and structure of what I know and turned it ever so slightly. Just enough to where it stings inside. The Elders in the First Ward were sent home. I feel so bad for them. I love those guys. When one of the Elders left last Monday, he came over and gave me all of his stuff. So now I have like 80 ties and his old heelies and work out bands and stuff ha.
So now My companion and I are taking over their ward for the rest of the transfer. It's a lot more work. We cover basically the whole northern part of Whidbey Island and I feel very small. My Companion is stressed out but I don't know how I feel. I feel good. I feel... unprepared.
I want to tell you something. Something amazing.
We went out tracting on a thick, foggy night. We got off the bus in Coupeville and watched it disappear in a matter of seconds. We started walking down a street and couldn't see a foot in front of us. I loved it. We knocked on the first door and this old man opened and said, " come on in." Next thing we knew we were on his couch. He was watching an old SciFi show that my comp couldn't stop watching ha. So I just talked with him for a while. We ended up talking about his religion, Catholicism. We shared with him our message and he didn't hate it. Which is rare. We gave him the Book of Mormon and asked him to read it and we are meeting with him again tonight. Thanks for listening.
One more story. A couple nights ago my companion and I got in an argument. In the middle of the argument the door bell rang and it was a member from first ward who was picking us up for our lesson that we had with his non-member brother. We got in the car and put on a happy face the best we could. We started talking with his brother, and he just asked us a bunch of questions. Questions that I have answered easily before. Questions that required me to speak from the heart. When I started to answer him I just choked on my words. I was sweating and fumbling over everything I said. I couldn't do it. I was a mess. I hated myself. Then half way through I just smiled. I thought to myself, "this is who I am without the spirit." I said a prayer in my heart that I could be forgiven of my pride and anger that I gave into. I prayed for the spirit to be with me, my companion and also with the members brother and his family. The rest of the lesson was amazing. I related to him and was able to understand his perspective. He wants to meet with us again.
I'm still stuck between the longing of yesterday and the hope of tomorrow. I'm getting closer to the moment every day. I need to be... here. Right here. Right now. It's the only place that I can change.. and I need to change. I need to let go of something... maybe everything... but definitely something. Maybe I just need to let go of that thought ha. Everything gained and nothing lost if it's surrendered to the Lord.
Love your neighbor and mother nature,
Elder Trent Jay Merrill.
P.S.
Romans 8: 38-39:
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
Sep 17th, 2012
So I got a letter from Thomas (his friend on a mission in Mexico) that he sent about two months ago. I just wanted to steal a line he wrote me, it's so true. "The hours are fast, the days are slow, the weeks fly past and the months just go." He's a clever little guy. I've been out a month now (almost) and it happened so fast. I've had a couple times when I look at this moment, the present moment, from hindsight. I don't know how to explain it but I almost miss this moment. I think it's because there is so much potential to be discovered that if I blink one too many times during a day I could miss something that could have changed everything.
Time is nothing if not a double edged sword. It's killing me to have this "time" of two years between us. Though it's also not enough time to accomplish all that is possible here. I already miss the people that I haven't had to say good bye too.
Mr. Smith found something that I like to call happiness. His life is rough, he sits in his big chair all day and considers it a successful triumph if he takes his pills on time. When I first met him, his only response was, "OK," to all of our questions. That actually hasn't changed much but now he has something in his eyes. He smiles and laughs and I asked him to be baptized on October 13th. He said yes!
Brandi is starting to find that same gift. She looks different. She already was inherently a kinder person than I could ever be but now she is finding more than she asked for. We're reading the Book of Mormon with her now and she says she finally understands things now. So that's always good to hear.
It was weird. So for the past couple weeks I've been doing alright. I've been keeping it together and just losing myself in the work. When I first got here, and the past years in this area of Penn Cove, the work was dead. Nothing was moving. The timing is aligning pretty well with me being here because now we're leading the zone. We're being blessed more than we could ever deserve.
So tonight I have a lesson with a new investigator that we tracted into and then we are having family home evening at the Somes (members. they're the best) with Brandi. We're watching the Joseph Smith movie. I'm so excited because she has been curious about the beginning of our church. It's perfect.
I love reading Jesus The Christ so much. I'm also reading Mere Christianity whenever I can find time like during lunch and stuff. I'm reading through the Book of Mormon and am projected to finish by Christmas. lots of reading and I still feel like I want more time! ha.
So... guess what?
The church is true
love you so much..
Elder Trent Jay Merrill
Time is nothing if not a double edged sword. It's killing me to have this "time" of two years between us. Though it's also not enough time to accomplish all that is possible here. I already miss the people that I haven't had to say good bye too.
Mr. Smith found something that I like to call happiness. His life is rough, he sits in his big chair all day and considers it a successful triumph if he takes his pills on time. When I first met him, his only response was, "OK," to all of our questions. That actually hasn't changed much but now he has something in his eyes. He smiles and laughs and I asked him to be baptized on October 13th. He said yes!
Brandi is starting to find that same gift. She looks different. She already was inherently a kinder person than I could ever be but now she is finding more than she asked for. We're reading the Book of Mormon with her now and she says she finally understands things now. So that's always good to hear.
It was weird. So for the past couple weeks I've been doing alright. I've been keeping it together and just losing myself in the work. When I first got here, and the past years in this area of Penn Cove, the work was dead. Nothing was moving. The timing is aligning pretty well with me being here because now we're leading the zone. We're being blessed more than we could ever deserve.
So tonight I have a lesson with a new investigator that we tracted into and then we are having family home evening at the Somes (members. they're the best) with Brandi. We're watching the Joseph Smith movie. I'm so excited because she has been curious about the beginning of our church. It's perfect.
I love reading Jesus The Christ so much. I'm also reading Mere Christianity whenever I can find time like during lunch and stuff. I'm reading through the Book of Mormon and am projected to finish by Christmas. lots of reading and I still feel like I want more time! ha.
So... guess what?
The church is true
love you so much..
Elder Trent Jay Merrill
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
It's a small world
My family. My sweet old family. Sometimes I have the weirdest realizations that we will all see each other again. Then I don't believe those thoughts and time starts look a little longer than it used to. So... I still miss you guys. I still love you more than I thought I was capable of. I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful for you.
Well I'll hit a couple of highlights that happened this week. I went on exchanges with the Zone Leaders this week and it was probably my best day out here so far. We switched on Wednesday night and I stayed over at their place. We didn't necessarily work any harder than I do now, because we're always working here. It just seemed more satisfying.. We taught this guy named Keith who just got out of jail and was incredibly poetic. I was trying not to smile because he just had the coolest things to say. I related to him pretty well and hopefully was able to share some experiences that could benefit him and his life. He is searching for the truth and I hope he realizes that he can find it in our message. Other than that day, my schedules been the same. We have been meeting with Brother Smith and Brandi a lot. We have found a lot of potential investigators that seem really promising so I'm stoked for all of it to come together.
So I guess I'll jump right in to the soul searching stuff because it's been on my mind a lot. I am starting, but not yet fully grasping, the concept of complete sacrifice. Every once in a while I find myself being selfish, only with little things. I need to give all of myself. I need to completely lose myself so that, paradoxically, I can find myself. I noticed that when I start looking at myself and trying to improve myself, I get depressed and overwhelmed. When I forget myself and focus on helping my investigators or members in the ward, I am happy. They are happy. What more could I do? Being out here on a mission I get to feel everything. The pain, the happiness, the love and the disappointment. I am having the full spectrum of the human experience and I've only just started this little journey. This experience could either make or break me. It's up to me... i'm choosing the former. Turns out the latter has to come before I can get there though. I just remembered a quote from C.S. Lewis... I think.
"The cross comes before the crown."
Chills. That's what it's all about. It's all about the sacrifice of our Savior. It's all about us sacrificing our human nature to follow our true destiny. I sometimes get caught up in the little things. I sometimes forget the big picture of this puzzle i'm piecing together and get caught up somewhere in the chaos. I'm getting better though. It's only an internal battle, on the surface I am always doing what I need to be doing. I just want my motives, perspectives and actions all to be more aligned. I'll get there.
Dad:
There is a stop smoking program that was developed by a David M Bresnahan who was a missionary in Ireland in 83 where he developed the program as an Elder. Do you know him? Was Tipton your president?
(The answer to that question is yes, Dave Bresnahan was his companion and Pres. Tipton was Dale's mission president. It's a small world!)
Well I'll hit a couple of highlights that happened this week. I went on exchanges with the Zone Leaders this week and it was probably my best day out here so far. We switched on Wednesday night and I stayed over at their place. We didn't necessarily work any harder than I do now, because we're always working here. It just seemed more satisfying.. We taught this guy named Keith who just got out of jail and was incredibly poetic. I was trying not to smile because he just had the coolest things to say. I related to him pretty well and hopefully was able to share some experiences that could benefit him and his life. He is searching for the truth and I hope he realizes that he can find it in our message. Other than that day, my schedules been the same. We have been meeting with Brother Smith and Brandi a lot. We have found a lot of potential investigators that seem really promising so I'm stoked for all of it to come together.
So I guess I'll jump right in to the soul searching stuff because it's been on my mind a lot. I am starting, but not yet fully grasping, the concept of complete sacrifice. Every once in a while I find myself being selfish, only with little things. I need to give all of myself. I need to completely lose myself so that, paradoxically, I can find myself. I noticed that when I start looking at myself and trying to improve myself, I get depressed and overwhelmed. When I forget myself and focus on helping my investigators or members in the ward, I am happy. They are happy. What more could I do? Being out here on a mission I get to feel everything. The pain, the happiness, the love and the disappointment. I am having the full spectrum of the human experience and I've only just started this little journey. This experience could either make or break me. It's up to me... i'm choosing the former. Turns out the latter has to come before I can get there though. I just remembered a quote from C.S. Lewis... I think.
"The cross comes before the crown."
Chills. That's what it's all about. It's all about the sacrifice of our Savior. It's all about us sacrificing our human nature to follow our true destiny. I sometimes get caught up in the little things. I sometimes forget the big picture of this puzzle i'm piecing together and get caught up somewhere in the chaos. I'm getting better though. It's only an internal battle, on the surface I am always doing what I need to be doing. I just want my motives, perspectives and actions all to be more aligned. I'll get there.
Dad:
There is a stop smoking program that was developed by a David M Bresnahan who was a missionary in Ireland in 83 where he developed the program as an Elder. Do you know him? Was Tipton your president?
(The answer to that question is yes, Dave Bresnahan was his companion and Pres. Tipton was Dale's mission president. It's a small world!)
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Emails From Trent Sept 4, 2012
Hey I'm a little late emailing you. I'm sorry the library was closed for labor day. Man, I don't really know what to say.. My district and I get along so good!
This week hasn't happened. It was so fast. There is an old man, Brother Smith, (who looks like WOODY!!) so sick, who we are teaching. His wife is a member, kind of, and we are walking with him everyday and reading the scriptures with him. He's praying about baptism and he is loving the Book of Mormon. I love it. He talks forever though so we end up staying longer than we would like but we can't really do much about that.
The girl we're teaching can't stop smoking so she might not be able to hit her baptismal date. We're praying for her everyday. I hope she can find the strength and the motivation to turn her will to God. Her life is so rough. I want her to be able to have the life she deserves, she deserves better.
We are teaching another girl, whose husband doesn't want anything to do with the church. So it's hard because she's way into it.
We contact a lot of other people but none who are potentials for baptism or reactivation. We have a lot of work to do. I love when I get to work. That's the absolute best. At the end of the day I know I did all that I could to serve God. I don't hold anything back.
Today i'm on splits with Elder Wren. He's so tight. We get along so well. We already had a service project and have a lesson for tonight. We'll just tract if we have spare time or something. I'm the senior companion while I'm with him.
Basically everything is looking up. I need to keep on focusing everyday. Every single day I surrender my will to Gods because my natural will is weak. I trust in him with everything I have and he never lets me fall. I'm so grateful for His love and that I can feel that for even a stranger. It's too cool. I miss and pray for you guys always. I loved the pictures and the package so much. It made everything so much better knowing that I am not alone out here. You guys are supporting me no matter what. That's more comforting than you could ever realize.
I'll get your letters soon and write back when I can. Oh, so yesterday, for P-day, the district went to Fort Ebey and we were on this big cliff that overlooked the ocean. So pretty. Anyways, Elder Wren and I like to do stupid things so I jumped off and started sliding down the side of the huge hill and I couldn't stop so I tried to hold on to all of the weeds and my shoulder popped out. So that sucked. But I'm alright now. It was just funny. Then we threw rocks in the ocean and just chilled while I wanted to die because of my shoulder. Good times.
Also, i had a cool experience that changed everything that i want to share. So one day i was terribly home sick. So i read the Richard G Scott talk and got way lost in it. Like in a good way... so into it. Then on the back i wrote down what i miss about home for some reason. Then i wrote the question "what am i sacrificing on that list to be out here?" and there were a couple things. Then I wrote down "can you sacrifice that short list for only two years, knowing that when you come back it will all still be there PLUS MORE, so that you can give the others the same happiness and love that you have?" And then wrote yes. Ha I don't know why i wrote those down but I look at it every day and then I just take it one day at a time. Kind of cool. just thought I'd share that with you.
So I sent some pictures of my MTC comps Elder Robbins, Elder Crandall and then my district at MTC. Then some view shots. Elder Duncan my handsome companion My lunch I have everyday. My Apartment super sweet. That's all i could fit on this email
Thanks Momma. I have to go now. I have a lesson to teach. I love you so much. Have an amazing week.
This week hasn't happened. It was so fast. There is an old man, Brother Smith, (who looks like WOODY!!) so sick, who we are teaching. His wife is a member, kind of, and we are walking with him everyday and reading the scriptures with him. He's praying about baptism and he is loving the Book of Mormon. I love it. He talks forever though so we end up staying longer than we would like but we can't really do much about that.
The girl we're teaching can't stop smoking so she might not be able to hit her baptismal date. We're praying for her everyday. I hope she can find the strength and the motivation to turn her will to God. Her life is so rough. I want her to be able to have the life she deserves, she deserves better.
We are teaching another girl, whose husband doesn't want anything to do with the church. So it's hard because she's way into it.
We contact a lot of other people but none who are potentials for baptism or reactivation. We have a lot of work to do. I love when I get to work. That's the absolute best. At the end of the day I know I did all that I could to serve God. I don't hold anything back.
Today i'm on splits with Elder Wren. He's so tight. We get along so well. We already had a service project and have a lesson for tonight. We'll just tract if we have spare time or something. I'm the senior companion while I'm with him.
Basically everything is looking up. I need to keep on focusing everyday. Every single day I surrender my will to Gods because my natural will is weak. I trust in him with everything I have and he never lets me fall. I'm so grateful for His love and that I can feel that for even a stranger. It's too cool. I miss and pray for you guys always. I loved the pictures and the package so much. It made everything so much better knowing that I am not alone out here. You guys are supporting me no matter what. That's more comforting than you could ever realize.
I'll get your letters soon and write back when I can. Oh, so yesterday, for P-day, the district went to Fort Ebey and we were on this big cliff that overlooked the ocean. So pretty. Anyways, Elder Wren and I like to do stupid things so I jumped off and started sliding down the side of the huge hill and I couldn't stop so I tried to hold on to all of the weeds and my shoulder popped out. So that sucked. But I'm alright now. It was just funny. Then we threw rocks in the ocean and just chilled while I wanted to die because of my shoulder. Good times.
Also, i had a cool experience that changed everything that i want to share. So one day i was terribly home sick. So i read the Richard G Scott talk and got way lost in it. Like in a good way... so into it. Then on the back i wrote down what i miss about home for some reason. Then i wrote the question "what am i sacrificing on that list to be out here?" and there were a couple things. Then I wrote down "can you sacrifice that short list for only two years, knowing that when you come back it will all still be there PLUS MORE, so that you can give the others the same happiness and love that you have?" And then wrote yes. Ha I don't know why i wrote those down but I look at it every day and then I just take it one day at a time. Kind of cool. just thought I'd share that with you.
So I sent some pictures of my MTC comps Elder Robbins, Elder Crandall and then my district at MTC. Then some view shots. Elder Duncan my handsome companion My lunch I have everyday. My Apartment super sweet. That's all i could fit on this email
Thanks Momma. I have to go now. I have a lesson to teach. I love you so much. Have an amazing week.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
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