Mmm...

I don't know where to begin. This week has taken the norm and structure of what I know and turned it ever so slightly. Just enough to where it stings inside. The Elders in the First Ward were sent home. I feel so bad for them. I love those guys. When one of the Elders left last Monday, he came over and gave me all of his stuff. So now I have like 80 ties and his old heelies and work out bands and stuff ha.

So now My companion and I are taking over their ward for the rest of the transfer. It's a lot more work. We cover basically the whole northern part of Whidbey Island and I feel very small. My Companion is stressed out but I don't know how I feel. I feel good. I feel... unprepared.

I want to tell you something. Something amazing.

We went out tracting on a thick, foggy night. We got off the bus in Coupeville and watched it disappear in a matter of seconds. We started walking down a street and couldn't see a foot in front of us. I loved it. We knocked on the first door and this old man opened and said, " come on in." Next thing we knew we were on his couch. He was watching an old SciFi show that my comp couldn't stop watching ha. So I just talked with him for a while. We ended up talking about his religion, Catholicism. We shared with him our message and he didn't hate it. Which is rare. We gave him the Book of Mormon and asked him to read it and we are meeting with him again tonight. Thanks for listening.

One more story. A couple nights ago my companion and I got in an argument. In the middle of the argument the door bell rang and it was a member from first ward who was picking us up for our lesson that we had with his non-member brother. We got in the car and put on a happy face the best we could. We started talking with his brother, and he just asked us a bunch of questions. Questions that I have answered easily before. Questions that required me to speak from the heart. When I started to answer him I just choked on my words. I was sweating and fumbling over everything I said. I couldn't do it. I was a mess. I hated myself. Then half way through I just smiled. I thought to myself, "this is who I am without the spirit." I said a prayer in my heart that I could be forgiven of my pride and anger that I gave into. I prayed for the spirit to be with me, my companion and also with the members brother and his family. The rest of the lesson was amazing. I related to him and was able to understand his perspective. He wants to meet with us again.

I'm still stuck between the longing of yesterday and the hope of tomorrow. I'm getting closer to the moment every day. I need to be... here. Right here. Right now. It's the only place that I can change.. and I need to change. I need to let go of something... maybe everything... but definitely something. Maybe I just need to let go of that thought ha. Everything gained and nothing lost if it's surrendered to the Lord.

Love your neighbor and mother nature,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill.


P.S.
Romans 8: 38-39:

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,


39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.