I have been praying a lot, thinking a lot, wondering a lot. I’ve decided that I'm grateful to have people in my life that I don’t get along with automatically. As weird as it sounds, I look forward to having different kinds of people around me because I know I will have a lot that I will be with my whole life. I am grateful because I have to rely on God in order to go on. I can’t remain neutral. I have felt love for people who I struggled with, and I know that it didn’t come from me. It’s a love that I can never find on my own. It’s an interesting concept but I’ve seen that when I get closer to God I get closer to the people who I wouldn't naturally get along with, because I see them differently. I’m also grateful for the people who are not difficult to get along with. They’re easier to be grateful for. It’s a lot easier and lovelier, though it allows room for me to not rely on God as desperately for the survival of our relationship. It makes me think of Ether 12:27. The weakness of having bad feelings towards someone can turn into a wonderful strength through Christ. I’ve seen this scripture fulfilled in a lot of different ways on my mission. I have never felt a stronger connection to my Father in Heaven than I do at this time in my life. I feel it deeply and I feel it quietly. I know that the Holy Ghost is powerful. I know that it is real.
We’ve had the chance to be teaching a wonderful family. The father, was baptized when he was eight but has been on the streets most of his life. While he was in prison he came to know the bible extremely well and has a beautiful heart. The mother, has never really felt prayers answered in her life. The son, who is seventeen, is very sincere and looking for “something” but just doesn’t quite know what to find yet. We have taught them a couple times and they’ve come to church a couple times. We decided to just focus on the Book of Mormon and to get them motivated to read it on their own. We started with a Mormon Message clip about the Book of Mormon and I felt this comfort and warmth that made me smile. I asked them if they felt it too afterwards and they said yes. We read the first chapter of 1st Nephi and the spirit was quite present as we asked questions and talked about it. We were about to close and the mom saw another video on the screen about Christ and asked if we could watch it. Of course, we did, and during the short clip I had a distinct and powerful prompting that we needed to invite them to be baptized on May 17th. The spirit was sure. After the video, I knew we needed the spirit to close so right as the clip ended I somewhat abruptly asked the son to say the closing prayer. He agreed and had a beautiful communication with his father in heaven and then we invited them to be baptized on May 17th and they accepted. It was a powerful experience that taught me the necessity of obedience and diligence to qualify for the small whisperings of the spirit. I know that because of our exact obedience and hard work we are able to qualify for the spirit to work in us to be effective tools in the Lord’s hands. The spirit makes everything beautiful, especially the little things.
I know I always talk about “my mission.” I just keep having these reminiscent and grateful thoughts for this experience that I want to share. I know that I learned a lot on my mission by the time I was six months out, just all sorts of good stuff. Then I learned even more when I hit a year. Now, being out around 20 months, I think about how much I’ve changed and learned because of this experience. I know that by the end I’ll have learned things that I didn’t know and understand now. Knowledge and experience is added onto me line upon line. Interesting how the scriptures always end up being fulfilled throughout my life. Maybe I’m just starting to recognize them more. The mission has been a mini life that has given me an eternal perspective I’ve never seen or known before. My eyes have been opened to the reality of things. I feel safe. I feel sure and I feel peace. I know moments like this won’t last forever so I’ll try not to blink while they do.
Remember how I used to go to Fort Casey and Fort Ebey when I was on Whidbey Island like 18 months ago? Oh, those were the days. Well, last preparation day I went back to those blessed grounds. This time it was with my new district. We walked around with the wind blowing our hair and took all sorts of pictures and I felt very nostalgic.
Humility is Power
Elder Trent Jay Merrill
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