Take My Heart

So... I have a lot on my mind but I'll just try to structure some chronological order here for clarity's sake. We had a meeting with President Wilson and all the zone leaders in the mission this week. I felt like I was being called to repentance for about seven hours ha. I needed it. A lot of changes are going to happen in the mission. Pretty cool time. I think I can do more. I know I can do more. I'm giving a lot but am I giving everything? I don't know. I want to be able to surrender myself in every way. I want to give my heart and my thoughts over to this work. I want to give it all. Nothing is mine. General Conference was beautiful. It helped me look inside and helped me know how to help the people we're working with. I walked into the Stake Center for the first session on Saturday and it just felt so... perfect. I was so happy to have the chance to learn and change.

I made Elder Gasser stand in some pictures before we came to the Library because I keep forgetting to send you some ha

Most of the people we are working with are at some kind of road block. Elder Gasser and I sit down and plan out our lessons for them and come up with nothing. It's happened a lot. Usually that doesn't happen with me. It's been pretty easy to know what people need to hear. Lately it's been pretty rough. So I came to conference with those concerns knowing that I could receive some help. It's hard to say which talks helped the most because it seemed like all of them contributed to the solution in it's own way. I especially loved Elder Hollands though (of course). It hit me pretty hard. I've been there. I know what it's like to not have faith and to express doubt to fill the demands of my pseudo candor. That's how it is with some of the families we're teaching. This just hit the nail right on the head. I hope they all watched it too. Our new ward mission leader is something of a tender mercy. We met with him after conference and talked about how we can do everything we can do bring these people to this gospel. Good things are about to happen. I don't want to leave this area.. I never want to leave.

It's hard to know when to look when using a self-timer.

Thug Life

We went around all last week inviting everyone to watch conference. I would say it's a pretty unique message to share... we have a prophet on the earth who is speaking to the world. God still loves us and wants to direct and uplift us through modern revelation. President Wilson talked to us about inviting others to "Come unto Christ." Not just helping people strengthen their faith in Christ. Most other churches can do that. There is one way that we can truly come unto Him, and it's through His restored gospel. If the people we talked with could just listen to the Prophet they could feel the validity and divinity of this church. I wish they could see my heart and know that I speak without any ulterior motives. Or at least that's my hope... if you could see my heart and the desires that fill it... what would you see? That's my question I haven't fully answered.. and probably never will be able to fully answer it, but I'm going to keep on looking anyways.

Ummm...

Nothing can stop this work from progressing. It brings tears to my eyes when I think how blessed I am to be a part of it. I get a portion of His vineyard to work. I won't stop. I can't stop. My Savior has never turned His back on me and I will never turn my back on Him. I love Him.


I love you too (:


Elder Trent Jay Merrill