Pumped up Kicks

I feel small in these shoes I've been asked to fill. I pray to God that I might not shrink... but rise to the occasion. I'm grateful today. Full of thanks. Full of love. I feel back to the beginning of my mission again. Emotions are everywhere. Mostly up. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing again. Everything is changed. I might be coming down with a mild case of nostalgia. The good and the bad. Right choices. Wrong choices... Life lessons learned. I’m going to turn back the clock for a bit. Hope you don’t mind the tangent. I blame it on having one of “those days.” 

 
Chapter 1: Penn Cove. August-December.
I feel like I truly learned what heartbreak and beauty meant in the first exposure to my mission. I wouldn’t change a thing.

Chapter 2: Big Rock. December-February.
I learned a little bit more about unconditional love, stress, patience and failure. I learned more about who I really am. How much I am dependent upon my Savior. How much I can't do alone. What drives me. What are my motives. Still haven’t fully grasped the concept.

Chatper 3: Snohomish. February-June.
Friendship, success, accountability and inadequacy. I will miss everything about it. I didn’t go a day without a smile.

Chapter 4: Silver Lake YSA. Dwight Schrute in…. The Office. June-only God knows.
I’ve heard it been said that being companions with your childhood friend is bitter-sweet. I’ve only seen the latter. I don’t’ know the best words that would describe my circumstance yet. Perfect.. Exhaustion.. Confusion. Overwhelming. I love every minute of this.

Back to the moment. I’m with Elder Draper and Elder Henson in the Mission Office. If you noticed, including me, that would make three of us. Here’s what’s going down. July 1st, the mission splits and Seattle and Everett both get new Mission President’s. Either me or Elder Henson will go to that new mission and be the assistant in that Mission so that we can have a representative from the WEM. It’s likely I’ll stay here with Elder Draper. That’s my prayer. Fingers are still crossed. I feel very humbled to be here. I don't measure up. Probably never will... I guess my goal is to just keep growing despite my hinderences by my inadequecy. It's not helpful to dwell on. But I do. And need to stop. I may not know much but I do know there is a God. I know He is love. I know He will not forsake me. He never has. I testify that He never will.

I’ll share a beautiful experience that I witnessed yesterday. There is an investigator named Brenton that came to church. He sat quietly throughout the whole Sacrament meeting and we asked him how he felt afterwards. He started to explain how he’s never felt this peace before. Right when he walked in, everything changed. He’s never felt the spirit. We invited him to be baptized on July 14th. We have 4 investigators with a baptismal date so far. Two of them happened just in the past couple of days.

I love the Book of Mormon,


Elder Trent Jay Merrill