They Who Call Me Elder: January 27, 2014

Hi, I am a missionary from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Some call me Merrill... the ones who understand call me Elder. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. I have been called of Him to declare His word among His people, that they might have everlasting life. My call is greater than myself. I am a weak mortal man with a Prophetic and Divine commission. Some days I understand those things. Some days I wish I did.

I believe in a lot of things... Miracles, love, change, progression. I believe that, "Man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend." I've certainly come to understand this perspective even more this week. I'm up against the wall of faith again. I don't feel uncomfortable here... this is where I learn, think and feel the most. I've been challenged. I have doubts. I have answers. I have questions. It seems that every time that I'm in this sort of a soul searching predicament, I find the answer that satisfies the seeming doubts. Usually when I talk about these kinds of experiences with you I've waited until I've found an answer. Now, I haven't found what I'm looking for. I'm still looking and searching. I realize the vagueness of this description but I can't explain the specifics very well on paper as of yet. The purpose of saying this is for everyone to know that there are answers to the doubts. There is clarity that comes after the trail of fog. It's this refining process that helps us experience the wonderful things that I believe: Miracles, love, change, progression. I love this.

I had a day that seemed like one big evidence of God's hand in my life. I was on a split with the WML and had a lesson with our investigator.  She's on date to be baptized for February 22nd and also lives with her boy friend right now. I've been so worried about what might happen when we bring up the law of chastity with her. The moment came that my anxiety was anticipating. We had the lesson and I tried to secretly sneak in this concern. As I held my breath to wait for her response she melted away all my worries with a faithful and humble answer. She had already been thinking she should move out. She is wonderful.

At the same time as that lesson Elder Pymm was on a split with President Nelson (Institute teacher) with another investigator, our hilariously sarcastic Catholic friend. I'm not too sure what went on in there but he's on date for the 21st of March now. They were both at church along with a new investigator.

An hour before both of those lessons James brought two friends for us to teach to institute. An hour before that we were with our investigator, that we met at her fire escape door, talking to her about some of those gospel truths we all tend to love. An hour before that  I taught district meeting because one of our district leaders was at the doctors. It was one of "those days"... in a beautiful way. I don't know why I'm going so out of chronological order here but I'll go ahead and jump to after all those many lessons and miracles and show you what the evening looked like that same day.

A couple months ago Elder Pectol and I contacted a girl. She was a good contact but she wasn't too interested. Well just this week we got a call from her asking if we could teach her church about what Mormons believed. "Why, yes! That would be a dream for us..." So we did. Six o'clock rolled around on this busy day. I was poorly portraying in the previous paragraphs. We arrived at the 100+ year old Methodist building. We tried about four different doors before we found the one that was accessible. With sweat of anticipation and exertion dampening our forehead, we finally made it to the body of Methodists. It was a room full of college girls ha. Luckily there was an old man there who we hung with most of the time named Dick. Dick's the man. Anyways, it was a night full of Q's & A's, pizza and ice cream. I don't know how well it touched their hearts but we both felt confident in our responses and instruction. We were invited to inform, not to convert....though, I prefer the latter. It was a learning and interesting experience. I liked it.

I think the description of that day is good for now. Oh, and I was able to confirm James yesterday. It was wonderful. I love him.

Standing next to an angel

 Gotta have that baptismal font pic

James/Elder Pymm in white and me and my puffy sweater 

All the little things,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

He Leads Me: January 20, 2014

Just another week in paradise for my buddy, Elder Pymm and I. Smiling, sweating, praying, witnessing miracles... all what have come to be somewhat of a norm in our circle of life. I don't envy the day that takes away this call and mantle. It means everything to me. I didn't think that I would grow to love my mission as much as I do now. I remember sitting in ward council in my first area with all the leaders talking about how they "need to get these boys in the ward on a mission! That's what they need and it will change their life." Of course I wasn't opposed to a mission at that time.... I still found it to be something of a wonder. I just didn't see the impact it would have on myself. I thought they were over reacting. I need this mission.

I've learned and felt a lot lately. I don't exactly know how to describe how I do feel though. I'm kind of all over the place but hmm... let's see. I've been observing... lately. More than normal. I don't even know why or what I have been watching for necessarily but my eyes are opening more to my surroundings. I'm noticing things that help me come to helpful conclusions like, "Unity is everything," and I'm also noticing things that leave me somewhat confused like, "why is Judges 19 even in the Bible?" (which isn't my point or a good example it just came into my head... because Judges 19... just read it.) I am also seeing a lot more beauty in the little things again: A simple smile from across the room between the "cool guy" to the shy kid that doesn't know his place in the room yet. Hugs, the wind, compliments... everything is having somewhat more of an impact on me than it has the past couple of months. I've been noticing how much pride and things  are blocking me from tapping into the power of gratitude... and things of that nature. I heard an analogy a while ago that I really like so let me see if I can butcher it enough for you with my tainted memory. "Think of a man who has just cut down a big tree with an ax. Would it be very rational (besides the obvious talking of inanimate objects) if the ax would say, "Hey look at me... I cut down that tree. I am the best ax that has ever been made." No, of course, we would give the credit and congratulations to the man who did it. In a similar sense, I am very much the ax and my Lord and Savior is the Master wood worker. I feel blessed and inadequate to be the tool in His hands to accomplish His work. How can I possibly say, "Look at me. I must be the best missionary ever made." (Which I wouldn't anyways because... I'm just not) No matter my success or failure I am nothing more than a rusty tool who is willing to be swung wherever I'm told. I don't find peace in self elevating or gratifying pursuits. I want to give more to people. Looking back on the past year, being a zone leader or an assistant, I keep thinking of what else I could have done. I think I could have done more. I did what I was supposed to... but there's always more to give. That's the struggle.. consistency. One day I'm full of the spirit and ready to take on the world. The next I don't want to get out of bed (I do it anyways) and just want to bum it ha. I think any of us can be great for a day. That's not the test. I think a lot of us can love people selflessly for an afternoon. That wouldn't be too hard. But to maintain the Christlike perspective and living is a hard consistent effort that takes more than just myself. I just can't do it. I lose focus and turn inward. My natural man is strong and always is turning inward. The character of Christ is always turning out and He is there to help guide my heart from myself. Luckily, I don't have to do all this changing and perfecting by myself. That would be a painful journey in vain. I am in a covenant relationship with perfection. "And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto His voice. For behold, He suffereth the pains of all man, yea, the pains of every living creature. Both men, women and children who belong to the family of Adam." I want to know and trust Him more. I know He is there. I know He lives. I know I can be cleansed and perfected in Him. 

Knock Knock Knock

"Hello?"

"Hi"

"Uhh hi... why are you at my door?"

...10 minutes later while having a great conversation with that new found friend, we see another girl coming down the stairs waiting about ten feet from us. I asked to the new girl, "Oh, Hey, sorry are we in your way?"

"Oh, no, I just wanted to talk to you guys."

"Oh, wow. Ok cool." Ha so I leave Elder Pymm and his contact and take a couple steps to my right till I reached this girl who just lined up to talk. 

"Hey there!" I chirped...

"Hey I've taken the lessons about two years ago but my parents wouldn't let me be baptized and now I moved out and want to get back into the church..." 

So I said to her, "Too bad so sad!" (that one was for you pops!) Nah I didn't say that, of course. We set up a time for the next day because she was just heading to work at Best Buy. So after the Sun gave us a new day we had that beautiful lesson. Towards the end we were talking about how she felt about baptism. We asked what she'd like to feel or know before she was baptized and she said, "I want the happiness I felt before when I read the Book of Mormon. It made me happier than anything I've before felt... I also want, again, the confirmation that the Book of Mormon is true." Well that was just about the perfect answer because everyone can promise that those things will happen. They always happen to the sincere of heart. So we asked, "What kind of time frame are you thinking?" Or something along those lines..and she said, " I have a friend on a mission and would love for him to come and baptize me."

"When will he would be back?

"In a year," She said...

"Heck no." 

Just kidding... we didn't say that. We just talked about it some more and now... long story short: She's getting baptized on February 22nd, 2014. Good birthday present eh? I thought so... and  She is wonderful. 

James, that sweet sweet man, went up straightway out of the water this weekend. James, I wish you could meet that man. I sure love him. It was a beautiful baptism. Two of our new investigators were there. They both seemed to have a smile on their face. That's all I got for now, my dear friends. I love you. 

Always searching and sometimes coming to a knowledge of the truth,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Quick Note and Pic: January 13, 2014

This week was great. I don't feel like I have much to say. It was one of the most fruitful and successful weeks I've been able to be a part of on my mission. I'm just distracted.

James is still on track for baptism and is rocking it. Even came and worked out with us this morning at the fighting gym.

The two investigators we found last week came to church and also worked out with us this morning and are coming to FHE tonight. solid. 

We found a lot of new investigators. Six people were at church. It was busy and fun. 

Hey that's a picture of James at the basketball game. President gave us permission to go because we met a bunch of people there and it was a good finding opportunity. One of Jame's friends came to church because of it. It was sweet!!! Isn't he so smooth looking? Man I just love James. 

The Downtown

As for things in the norm, I may not have much to offer. It was a week of success, love and awkward encounters. All the makings of a good time.

Saturday: We mostly tracted that day... and the other days. I liked it. Some time in the afternoon we found ourselves knocking around a certain apartment and wandered around the back until we found some mysterious stairs. The stairs seemed to keep going higher and higher and looked like it didn't have an end. But, oh... did it have an end. Once Elder Pymm got to the top he just turned around and walked back down before I saw the destination. My curiosity led me to see the top before I followed him back down. I saw two doors that looked like a closet without locks.I felt a little adventurous and said, "I'm just gonna walk in... watch this..." I thought it led to the roof or something. I didn't actually do what I said I would, of course. I'm too scared to live up to my talk. So I just knocked on both doors at the same time and walked away. As I turned my back I heard the door knob jiggle and then open... I looked back and saw a woman's bedroom and a scared person peeking outside to see who would be knocking on her fire escape door. It's the Mormons, of course! Who else would it be. So we had a good laugh and as I wiped the sweat off my forehead like a nervous wreck. Turns out that the woman is super cool and is super prepared. . Her roomate came out too, and we talked about Fox Moulder and Thomas S. Monson. We'll be seeing them tonight. I guess the moral of the story is... Back doors are creepy. Always go up staircases that lead to "no where."

Story two: We were weekly planning and I had a thought that we should stop and finish planning the next day so we can go out and tract. I looked at our planner and we had nothing planned for that time other than weekly planning. So I thought, what are we going to do with all that free time... and then I had another thought that came pretty clearly that said, "It will be filled." So we hit the pavement not really sure where to go or what to do. After about a half hour I was like... hmm... this isn't being filled! Why are we doing this when we planned to be planning... The next door we happened upon a nice Athiest fellow. He let us in and we talked about Joseph Smith, the problem of evil and every other lesson that we knew. It wasn't an ideal time schedule for teaching. We try to keep it shorter. He's the question asker type for sure. I think it's my first Hard Core Athiest investigator. I have had conversations with Athiests almost every day,,, they've just never become investigators. I don't know how far it'll get with him (there's that faith I need) but we'll give it a shot. The time was definitely filled though. Kind of an interesting experience for me. Oh, and about two minutes before we knocked on his door I got a text from a investigator that said we can't meet anymore because he's too attracted to me. Though he phrased it a little less classy. Just thought you'd like to know the weird details of this strange yet wonderful week.

James is getting more and more solid every millisecond... maybe... and if not that then at least every other day. We taught him the Word of Wisdom this week and his natural reaction was opposed to coffee and tea (which we knew it would be). We taught and testified of the commandment and talked with him a bout how he felt. He said he'd be willing to do it. So yesterday we were at break the fast with him and he said, "I went to Starbucks today (haven't taught keeping Sabbath day holy yet... settle down) and I got hot chocolate instead of coffee. It was the best hot chocolate I've ever had." Blessings. Blessings. He's getting baptized pretty soon now! Two weeks.

One of my favorite things happened this week. You see, when you go towards downtown Bellingham... good things happen. It's just a trend I've noticed. This time we didn't even get the chance to make it to too close to the downtown before the good stuff happened. While on our way we came across a man named "Uncle Buck," but I call him Zack. Zack is what we (and he) likes to call.... a Gypsy! He's part of a family called The Grateful Dead. So... you know it's legit. He was standing on a street corner smoking a fatty cig when we first saw him. The left side of his body shut down and so he was kind of stuck on that one side of the street. So after we helped him across the cross walk and learned about Nymphs and things, we got to hear more about his life. I love those kind of conversations. I love hearing other people's stories and perspectives and beliefs, especially...... gypsies. He said we could join the family so... I'm still having to figure some stuff out on my own. He's also read the Book of Mormon before (not really... pretty sure.) so that's cool that he tells people that though. It's a good book. When he told his stories he would grab the longer side of his chin beard and wrap it around the other hairs which makes him look very wise and thoughtful. Quite intriguing for all who is around. Long story short: don't do drugs.

I'm going on a treasure hunt,


Elder Trent Jay Merrill