Just another week in paradise for my buddy, Elder Pymm and I. Smiling, sweating, praying, witnessing miracles... all what have come to be somewhat of a norm in our circle of life. I don't envy the day that takes away this call and mantle. It means everything to me. I didn't think that I would grow to love my mission as much as I do now. I remember sitting in ward council in my first area with all the leaders talking about how they "need to get these boys in the ward on a mission! That's what they need and it will change their life." Of course I wasn't opposed to a mission at that time.... I still found it to be something of a wonder. I just didn't see the impact it would have on myself. I thought they were over reacting. I need this mission.
I've learned and felt a lot lately. I don't exactly know how to describe how I do feel though. I'm kind of all over the place but hmm... let's see. I've been observing... lately. More than normal. I don't even know why or what I have been watching for necessarily but my eyes are opening more to my surroundings. I'm noticing things that help me come to helpful conclusions like, "Unity is everything," and I'm also noticing things that leave me somewhat confused like, "why is Judges 19 even in the Bible?" (which isn't my point or a good example it just came into my head... because Judges 19... just read it.) I am also seeing a lot more beauty in the little things again: A simple smile from across the room between the "cool guy" to the shy kid that doesn't know his place in the room yet. Hugs, the wind, compliments... everything is having somewhat more of an impact on me than it has the past couple of months. I've been noticing how much pride and things are blocking me from tapping into the power of gratitude... and things of that nature. I heard an analogy a while ago that I really like so let me see if I can butcher it enough for you with my tainted memory. "Think of a man who has just cut down a big tree with an ax. Would it be very rational (besides the obvious talking of inanimate objects) if the ax would say, "Hey look at me... I cut down that tree. I am the best ax that has ever been made." No, of course, we would give the credit and congratulations to the man who did it. In a similar sense, I am very much the ax and my Lord and Savior is the Master wood worker. I feel blessed and inadequate to be the tool in His hands to accomplish His work. How can I possibly say, "Look at me. I must be the best missionary ever made." (Which I wouldn't anyways because... I'm just not) No matter my success or failure I am nothing more than a rusty tool who is willing to be swung wherever I'm told. I don't find peace in self elevating or gratifying pursuits. I want to give more to people. Looking back on the past year, being a zone leader or an assistant, I keep thinking of what else I could have done. I think I could have done more. I did what I was supposed to... but there's always more to give. That's the struggle.. consistency. One day I'm full of the spirit and ready to take on the world. The next I don't want to get out of bed (I do it anyways) and just want to bum it ha. I think any of us can be great for a day. That's not the test. I think a lot of us can love people selflessly for an afternoon. That wouldn't be too hard. But to maintain the Christlike perspective and living is a hard consistent effort that takes more than just myself. I just can't do it. I lose focus and turn inward. My natural man is strong and always is turning inward. The character of Christ is always turning out and He is there to help guide my heart from myself. Luckily, I don't have to do all this changing and perfecting by myself. That would be a painful journey in vain. I am in a covenant relationship with perfection. "And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto His voice. For behold, He suffereth the pains of all man, yea, the pains of every living creature. Both men, women and children who belong to the family of Adam." I want to know and trust Him more. I know He is there. I know He lives. I know I can be cleansed and perfected in Him.
Knock Knock Knock
"Hello?"
"Hi"
"Uhh hi... why are you at my door?"
...10 minutes later while having a great conversation with that new found friend, we see another girl coming down the stairs waiting about ten feet from us. I asked to the new girl, "Oh, Hey, sorry are we in your way?"
"Oh, no, I just wanted to talk to you guys."
"Oh, wow. Ok cool." Ha so I leave Elder Pymm and his contact and take a couple steps to my right till I reached this girl who just lined up to talk.
"Hey there!" I chirped...
"Hey I've taken the lessons about two years ago but my parents wouldn't let me be baptized and now I moved out and want to get back into the church..."
So I said to her, "Too bad so sad!" (that one was for you pops!) Nah I didn't say that, of course. We set up a time for the next day because she was just heading to work at Best Buy. So after the Sun gave us a new day we had that beautiful lesson. Towards the end we were talking about how she felt about baptism. We asked what she'd like to feel or know before she was baptized and she said, "I want the happiness I felt before when I read the Book of Mormon. It made me happier than anything I've before felt... I also want, again, the confirmation that the Book of Mormon is true." Well that was just about the perfect answer because everyone can promise that those things will happen. They always happen to the sincere of heart. So we asked, "What kind of time frame are you thinking?" Or something along those lines..and she said, " I have a friend on a mission and would love for him to come and baptize me."
"When will he would be back?
"In a year," She said...
"Heck no."
Just kidding... we didn't say that. We just talked about it some more and now... long story short: She's getting baptized on February 22nd, 2014. Good birthday present eh? I thought so... and She is wonderful.
James, that sweet sweet man, went up straightway out of the water this weekend. James, I wish you could meet that man. I sure love him. It was a beautiful baptism. Two of our new investigators were there. They both seemed to have a smile on their face. That's all I got for now, my dear friends. I love you.
Always searching and sometimes coming to a knowledge of the truth,
Elder Trent Jay Merrill
No comments:
Post a Comment