Time to Vacuum

Greetings from the land of wet socks and black umbrellas.

So I'll just start this letter off right and tell you a little story. This one starts and hopefully ends in water (baptism... clever I know). We met a lady that my best friend in the ward referred us to. We went over at the beginning of this week and started talking about the weather and why my tie is so short. All the important things. She was pretty fascinated that we paid and dedicated two years of our lives to serve others and to share what we believe. So the days passed and we came back to do some yard work around her horse pasture. We were picking up rocks and raking some leaves while we talked about the entire first lesson. It was just casually brought up and smoothly transitioned from topic to topic. The words were flowing and the spirit was rolling. It was probably my favorite lesson so far. Very organically clear and bold... while the rain was blurring out all of the distractions and noises of the outside world. Beautiful.

There's a man who lives in a house. Intriguing I know. It gets better. One day we went to this house. The house in which He lived. We talked with him and he said he was looking for "something." Not so much a physical something, except a job perhaps because he is going through a really hard time, but something to give him the idea of hope again. He has no hope for himself. We talked with him for almost an hour and told him that we are there to share the way of happiness and of hope. The way of deliverance and of change. He is reading the Book of Mormon right now and we'll meet with him again later this week. I was heartbroken after we left the first time. I sat in the car for a minute and wanted to cry because he has the world against him and if for just one moment he could understand that what we were saying was true, his battle within could turn into peace. Not everything will be perfect, but it will be put into a more perfect perspective. Hope.

We met a firefighter. He is a father of two and he is.... almost a Mormon. Stay tuned till next time.

There is another man doesn't want to let us into his home but he is slowly letting the Book of Mormon into his heart. I'm hoping that one of those two changes soon.

All isn't well in Zion but that's how it's supposed to be. Imperfect people. Struggling missionary. This is mortality and this is where we learn and change. I'm learning not to expect anything more than trial. I'm learning that it doesn't matter what is going on around me. I am at peace. I am happy.

All of my love,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Where Is My Mind

The Devil on my shoulder seems to change from day to day... week to week. It's coming with all sorts of confusion. Not overwhelming or debilitating... just thought provoking and soul searching. While the angels are coming down with more blessings than I ever deserve. Two new investigators this week. I don't know what we're doing that's right but doors are opening and even if they aren't we're climbing through the proverbial windows to try and catch some success... and we're catching a lot. Fingers pointed to the sky. It's all coming from above... we're just learning how to be His tools. All looking up.

I did also cut off some chicken heads... and I don't say that in a figurative sense. I'll send you some pictures. Pretty gnarly. After I plucked the chicken that I saw running around a few minutes before...I felt like I arrived to the thing we call manhood. I also can't stop washing my hands every time I think about the "manly" experience either. So it's a bitter sweet memory now.

Cheers,

Elder Merrill

Hey that's me holding a dead chicken

Hey that's me holding another dead chicken

Hey Mom! Is that the carnation farm you took me to as a kid?

Hey there's a pretty view

Through The Working Class

My hands are slightly cold today but they're steady. Ready.

Trying to describe this week would be like trying to describe why new carpet is my favorite smell. It's just something that words don't know how to do. Especially when they're under my hands. A lot of things are happening. New things. Old things. All things. I don't even have anything really specific to say. I feel like I failed a lot this week and it feels like one of the most successful line of days I've lived here in Big Rock. I'm all over the place right now ha let me see if I can narrow it down a bit.

We have new potential investigator(s). Which is somewhat of a miracle I would say. Tracting, Member Work, Referrals, Service, they're all lining up for us. A lot of service. We're trying to develop a family mission plan and help the ward set goals for their homes of how to be more missionary minded. It has a lot of potential. I'm excited... to say the least. We went to the Relief Society President's house the other night and she is exactly what we need. She gave us a long list of people to help and a lot of people to potentially teach. We're hoping to help other members in the ward get excited about missionary work like that. If there's one thing I want to leave this ward with it's the motivation and hope for a better missionary area. It can happen. The numbers aren't anything. At the end of the day the question of loyalty and success still resides in the question from my Savior, "Do you love me?" And when I see that I've given it my all with all the failures and inadequacies in mind, I can still answer honestly and unashamed that I do. That's the kind of peace that only comes from this Gospel.

Well I'm happy, struggling and striving. What more could I ask for,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Old Trucks and Fire Hydrants

This is only the beginning. Had a good week. Hard week. Tiring week. Beautiful week.

I keep having these moments of realization. I look at things my way, and then in a second everything changes, and I do too. I've had a lot of that these past couple of days. Just the other night I was sitting in the car after we saw everyone we could think of in the area and we had an hour before we could go in. I thought, "Dang, now we need to kill an hour of time." Then after I thought that... I was like, "Hmm.. I probably shouldn't ever be trying to just waste away time... what the heck am I doing..." So I prayed for my perspective to change. I prayed that I can see things the way the my Heavenly Father wants me to see them. Everything changed. I wanted to run house to house and tell everyone that the church has been restored! ha but my companion wasn't down with that so we just walked like the gentlemen that we claim to be. I'm grateful for prayer. I know that they're heard and felt by a loving Heavenly Father.

We've been busy. Which hasn't really ever happened here. The members are supporting us and doors are opening. Sometimes without us asking now, people will give us the names and addresses of friends that we can visit. None of them have worked out so far but... they soon will. Or something will at least. I think and hope that they are starting to trust us more. The missionaries before me were amazing. So I'm lucky that I didn't come into a non-trusting ward. I'm just trying to figure out the difference between this area and "successful" areas. What are the variables? How can I help build this claimed "unsuccessful" area? I don't have very many answers. Though my questions aren't in short supply. I'm grateful for those too.

"One more door, Elder, you can do it, my friend." And so we did. And so came the miracle. Amber Anonymity is the name and description. I'll let you know more once I know more. Sorry for the anti-climatic build. She didn't show up to our set up appointment yesterday so it's still in some form of progress paralysis.

All else is constant. The schedule is set. The sweat and rain are persistent and my thumb keeps twitching. Yep, I'm starting to feel a little more sane. A little more spiritual. A little less anxious. I am blessed with subtle miracles every day. I'm grateful that I can feel and see the little things.

And it's all about the little things,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill