Elder Merrill's LAST two letters from the mission field!

“Some Soft Spots,”                July 14, 2014

I'm gaining more empathy for Johnny Cash when he said, "I've been everywhere man." This week I went from Blaine (Canadian border) down to Seattle, and from Darrington (mudslide place but further east) to the Puget Sound in the west. We didn't even plan any of those trips but they just kind of "happened upon us," if you know what I mean. Probably not, that's ok. I loved this week. I absolutely loved it.

The trip out to Darrington was a nice little surprise. The day before we were going up to Bellingham and Ferndale to do exchanges, President came to us and asked if we would go to Darrington and take a whole zone with us to do a big service project. We, of course, said yes and went on our way up to Bellingham. The morning after the exchange we drove down to the mission office and picked up a bunch of missionaries in the world famous Ford E350 A.K.A. The White Buffalo! The road trip out to the boonies felt like a junior high field trip. You betcha. We were just all joking around and having fun. It was a good ole time. The scenery was beautiful and breath taking or, should I say, beautifully breath taking? Probably not. Anyways, there were luscious greens all over the hill sides and in the valley. It was something else. As we kept driving we hit the modern day "land of desolation" and all went silent. It was very sobering to see the destruction that happened as a result of the mudslide. All of the houses and neighborhoods that used to be there were now an empty space of dirt and debris. We kept driving for another half hour or so and then got to the local cafe in down town Darrington, if there is such a thing. The lady that was in charge of the food bank gave us some free pizza and then we all went out and got sweatydirtnasty the rest of the day. That's a new word I made up. Twas. Dope. We unloaded a huge semi full of food and delivered it to another semi (for whatever reason) and then unloaded it in there. It probably took almost five hours. Everyone was so wet and sweaty. I seriously have a soft spot in my heart for that beloved day. A day full of hard working service with missionaries of the Lord. I think everything is kind of a soft spot for me right now though. I miss everything.

President also asked us to go pick up some stuff at the Seattle Mission Office. That was pretty fun. We had a tour of what goes on there with the maps and areas that they cover. We asked how it was all ran and organized and what not. I learned a lot of good stuff. I love hearing and learning about the way other missions do things. It's quite interesting.

We gave talks in Sacrament Meeting yesterday. Oh, what a rush. It was on the Holy Ghost. I guess I don't have much to say about that I don't know why I brought it up.

Well, anyways...

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

“I am a Witness”       July 21, 2014

This will be a tough one to not seem overly dramatic. I apologize in advance for the embarrassing display of emotion, my friends. I’m working on it.

I might start with the trivial and end with the thoughts that I can’t shake from my heart. I have a new companion in addition to Elder Largent. Elder Stack came in and is three packing with us until... well... next Monday. I have had an amazing week. We are focusing on prioritizing time and resources. It's been opening a lot more time for us to just get out and knock on some doors. I enjoy every moment of every day. I am tired beyond belief, but I'm sustained and energized. Somehow. I know how. God is good. Though within the prioritizing and using our resources as wisely as possible we still found ourselves all over the mission. That’s ok, too. We’ve just been listening to talks and fueling the spirit that loves that kind of stuff.

I was on exchanges with the Everett zone leaders this week and we just threw down some mad baptism beats. Beat boxing and rapping up a storm while we cruised the streets of Broadway and beyond.  I think it brought the spirit, or something did, because we found five new investigators in just a couple hours. It was a day of miracles and laughter. I wish days like that would last forever.

I don't fear the future, ok, that's only a half lie. I don't feel fear for the future AS LONG AS I stay close to the spirit. I have learned, among so many other things that "God will never forsake." I have complete confidence that "His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts,” especially mine. I feel peace right now even with all the distractions and things which could easily beset me. The spirit of God does not fail us. It is promised to those who are faithful after receiving the authorized ordinance of baptism. Whenever I don’t feel its guidance or comfort then I immediately know that I need to repent and align my will with the Father. I'm not perfect at this whole thing, obviously. I just know that it's true. I know is that I have come acquainted with the Master and His teachings. I know that His power and authority is real and that it is given to qualified men on the earth. That is the way God wants it to be done. I know that the Brethren are inspired men of God who are special witnesses of our Savior. There is power in their words because they are Christ's words. I know that I can confirm the words they say as I pray and seek for a confirmation through the spirit. I know that more happiness and joy come through obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel than any other source or avenue. Yep, obedience is the secret to it all, folks. It’s what opens up more capacity to love. It’s what conquers our doubts and clears our eyes. It’s what allows us to see the hand of God in our lives. I know that the truth of God stands independent and unchangeable from our perspective.

As some singer once said, “The road is long and the river is wide.” My next step in the journey is the same as it was yesterday and the day before: Love God. Love man.

If only a little longer,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Trent's letter on June 23, 2014, "Til Death"

The many things that should be said are left without an utterance. The tasks that should be done remain untouched while the songs that wish to be sung are quenched in the winds of silence. I am in one of those retrospective moods where everything from the past seems to be present and I am longing to repeat what is before me. I love my mission. Man, I love you, Ma' FAMILY!

The chaos and the commotion that I seem to live in is becoming increasingly enjoyable. I think at the end of the day, the thing I'm learning the most is the importance of priorities. I want to know where my priorities are and where my sight is fixed. Often times I feel like it's faced inwards and that has always led to a hindrance of progression. The power and the development I have learned is from facing outwards. I know that there is power in submission and humility. I feel hypocritical saying this truth because of my imperfections in it's pursuit, but I still gained the knowledge through experience.

Ah, guys, guess what? You guessed it. There were some miracles this week... because God is good and so is His work. I'll just catch you up on the "latest and greatest." It was towards the end of the day of an exchange with Elder Holt (my buddy) and we stopped by our investigators house. The first part of our conversation consisted of him and his wife listing ALL the reasons why they couldn't come to church or keep their commitments we left with them.  I prayed to understand where they were coming from and how I could help them understand. After they let off their steam, I just said to the wife, "I want to ask you a question. What do you think our purpose is in coming to your home?" She responded, "To be disciples and teach us what we're supposed to do. I know what I'm supposed to do I just can't do it. I'm too busy.  My husband is too busy and won't make this a priority and I don't want to do this on my own."  I thought about it for a second and just said, "Our purpose is to INVITE you to come unto Christ. We represent Him and will ONLY invite you to do what He would say if He were here Himself. I know that if Christ were here right now He would never stop inviting you to attend church. I don't care what you have going on that seems more important. He loves you and will always invite you to unto Him.  I know that Christ will never stop inviting you to be baptized into His church. I know that His arms are always open to you both and He wants you to have peace, strength and happiness in the family in this life and the only way that can continue in the next life is if you act on the invitations He (and we) are extending to you.  Will you come to church tomorrow regardless of all the excuses you just made?" There is power in the call and mantle of being a full time missionary, I have learned. It's nothing that I have developed or done. After I said that it hit me really hard how true it is. We really are His representatives. "Whether it be by mine own voice, or the voice of my servants, it is the same." I wish I understood that more fully earlier in my mission. Power comes from testifying of Christ and testifying as if Christ were speaking through you. Missionaries are nothing in and of themselves. I know I'm not, at least. They both said yes.  We then said we'll close with a prayer and that we'll see them tomorrow. Right then the phone rang from a random number and someone from the ward was calling offering a ride to church. We didn't plan any of that. We were all amazed at the way that Heavenly Father provided the way for them to come to church after months of making excuses. They came to church and had a wonderful experience being nourished by the good word of God.

We've been teaching another part member family where the wife isn't a member and the husband has been less active for a long time. She has a beautiful heart. She is on date for July 26th and also came to church with her husband. It was a good week. Also, the family of five I was working with in my last area all got baptized last week too. That was cool.

I wonder what else has happened in my life. I don't really know. My memory is darkening as the circles around my eyes seem to be doing the same thing.

Cheers,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Trent's letter from July 7, 2014

Mission Leader Council went wonderfully well this week, hopefully. I think it did. The night before the big meeting we were up all night with one of my friends named Elder Stack. He’s a brilliant man who can pretty much do anything in his head or on a computer. Same thing. He’s working in the office to create reports and excel sheets for the metrics of the mission. Anyways, he slept over with us the night before MLC and worked on all that kind of stuff. We finally went to bed around 2:30AM and slept beautifully for almost four hours. 

The new day began and the meeting came. Elder Largent and I trained on invitations, commitments and following up. I want to apply those principles in my future life. If I knew the truths I’ve learned from being on a mission while in high school, man, I could have done a lot more with my life. It would have helped school, relationships, happiness, peace, respect, everything. Specifically chapters 11 and 8 (and 6, 10, 5, 4, 2… too many good ones) of Preach my Gospel will be beneficial and crucial. Anyways, as I was instructing and talking about commitments I had a thought: What would it be like if Christ were to teach a lesson and invite someone to keep a commitment such as living the law of chastity? Would he say something like, “So I explained the law of chastity, it’s way good if you keep it. I’ve already told you the good and bad of it. You should keep it. Will you do that?” I have a feeling he would be a little more urgent and loving. I think he would urge and plead with all of his heart that we would keep the commandment so that we can be blessed. He would do everything he could to help US CHOOSE to commit to it. Why? It’s because He loves us, of course, perfectly and without fail. How are we, as representatives of Jesus Christ, to be any different than that example that Christ has set? He will always invite boldly and with love for people to repent, change and live in accordance with his gospel. It’s not for His own gain, but for His brothers and sisters, just as it is with us. We invite people to keep commitments not for our own gain, but for theirs. We need to teach clearly, powerfully and lovingly to help these friends understand that. 

Anyways, moral of the story, keep the commandments of the Lord and you will gain insight, knowledge, increased faith, happiness, direction and clarity, to name just a few. I testify that there is no other way of true and lasting happiness than through this, the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, though there are things that are very close. There are many shades of this “good” but there is only one “strait and narrow path” in which we should enter.  I have been commissioned of Jesus Christ to share this truth with everyone who will hear. I love you :)

One of our investigators is on a roller coaster of progression. One day we’re not sure if she’s “getting it.” Then on another day, like Saturday, we came over and she said, “That’s it. I’ve thrown all my cigarettes away, no more coffee, only herbal tea.” Then she kicked her friend out and said, “I need to have lessons so I can get baptized soon!” That’s always a good sign. She and her husband came to church and enjoyed it. They’ve been coming pretty consistently lately. It’s been making us (and Heavenly Father) so very happy.  I am developing more of Christ-like love for her and the people we are working with. My letters are definitely tainted by the current emotion that I feel. I do have great faith that this area can continue to see miracles “after all we can do.” I only say that last part because I want to emphasize the importance of our choices and responsibilities in carrying out the work of the Lord. I have learned, among many other things, that without an ACT in accordance with God’s commandments we will not see results or have our faith increased. I know that miracles come from the application of true, God given principles within the time table of Deity. I know that our choices are crucial to everything. I am not an object to be acted upon, no matter the emotions, tendencies or temptations that surround me. I can choose to ACT differently and righteously, and then comes the power. There is power in knowledge and there is wisdom in obedience. It takes both. I hope that in some small way I am able to help our investigator understand the concept of actions, responsibility and grace. Just in a simpler way than I just explained.

I think it’s really hitting me that this whole thing will soon be a fond dream. I feel torn in so many ways. I feel love and peace in conflicting pieces. I feel gratitude for the opportunity I have had to dedicate my life to the Lord. I know the journey doesn't end here. I will always be a missionary. My tag is painted in my heart, as Paul said, “not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God.”

Cheers,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

P.S. I love you

Trent's letter from June 30, 2014

Look at this little old nugget of memories I found on the computer. My first day in the mission. How adorable. 

June 30, 2014

I feel very humbled to be at this point of the journey. I feel emotions of happiness, peace, regret yet hope in the Lord. I feel calm and appreciative of the experiences that I have been able to witness and live. I feel that the changes that have happened within me on my mission have fluctuated from time to time. At some points I felt like I was a totally different person than I was before. I felt good and confident. Other times I have felt like I am just running in the same circles that I did in the lifetime before. All in all, as I look at the trend of progress and development, I have seen a “mighty change” happen within me. I often think that if people on my mission knew me just a few years before they would not have guessed that I am who I am today. I am grateful for the atonement that has carried me and brought me from the dust. Though I still stumble and falter, my eyes are fixed on the unchangeable truths and principles that will lead me to salvation. I didn't have that before. I was constantly “tossed to and fro,” not really knowing what to build upon and what or whom to put my trust and devotion. I now know. I cannot deny it. I thank my mission for that truth and I treasure the objective truth about my Father in Heaven, His son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, which has testified to my mind and heart of the things that I now know. I think if I had to sum up a large portion of my mission, with all the lessons through failure and success, it would be found in this scripture:

Luke 22: 31-32 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

I have been on both ends of that scripture throughout this short time as a missionary. I have felt the temptations. I have felt the prayers of my loved ones and the strengthening power of Christ. The happiest times of my mission, however, have been as I have “strengthened my brethren.” I have come to know, through experience and observation that true and lasting happiness comes through obedience to the gospel and serving with love those who are around me. I also have come to know that I am nothing without the spirit. The spirit is what gives me utterance and allows me to be effective and powerful. 

I am in the home stretch. This next week, like usual, will be a busy one. Exchanges from north to south and meetings in between. I'm ready for the lessons I need to learn. 

I'm just going along, doing my thing, playing the fool, not really knowing what's ahead of me. I don't know what to tell you of what's going on in my day to day life. Something we're working on is redoing all of the metrics and reporting systems in our meetings across the mission. I'm getting quite good with excel. It's fun. It's different side of missionary work, for sure. I don't feel as good at the end of the day. We still get to proselyte sometimes. We had a couple people at church and a couple with a date for baptism. So, all in all, I can't complain. I love my God. I love my family. I love my mission.

Hey, I love you.

Elder Trent Jay Merrill