Elder Merrill's LAST two letters from the mission field!

“Some Soft Spots,”                July 14, 2014

I'm gaining more empathy for Johnny Cash when he said, "I've been everywhere man." This week I went from Blaine (Canadian border) down to Seattle, and from Darrington (mudslide place but further east) to the Puget Sound in the west. We didn't even plan any of those trips but they just kind of "happened upon us," if you know what I mean. Probably not, that's ok. I loved this week. I absolutely loved it.

The trip out to Darrington was a nice little surprise. The day before we were going up to Bellingham and Ferndale to do exchanges, President came to us and asked if we would go to Darrington and take a whole zone with us to do a big service project. We, of course, said yes and went on our way up to Bellingham. The morning after the exchange we drove down to the mission office and picked up a bunch of missionaries in the world famous Ford E350 A.K.A. The White Buffalo! The road trip out to the boonies felt like a junior high field trip. You betcha. We were just all joking around and having fun. It was a good ole time. The scenery was beautiful and breath taking or, should I say, beautifully breath taking? Probably not. Anyways, there were luscious greens all over the hill sides and in the valley. It was something else. As we kept driving we hit the modern day "land of desolation" and all went silent. It was very sobering to see the destruction that happened as a result of the mudslide. All of the houses and neighborhoods that used to be there were now an empty space of dirt and debris. We kept driving for another half hour or so and then got to the local cafe in down town Darrington, if there is such a thing. The lady that was in charge of the food bank gave us some free pizza and then we all went out and got sweatydirtnasty the rest of the day. That's a new word I made up. Twas. Dope. We unloaded a huge semi full of food and delivered it to another semi (for whatever reason) and then unloaded it in there. It probably took almost five hours. Everyone was so wet and sweaty. I seriously have a soft spot in my heart for that beloved day. A day full of hard working service with missionaries of the Lord. I think everything is kind of a soft spot for me right now though. I miss everything.

President also asked us to go pick up some stuff at the Seattle Mission Office. That was pretty fun. We had a tour of what goes on there with the maps and areas that they cover. We asked how it was all ran and organized and what not. I learned a lot of good stuff. I love hearing and learning about the way other missions do things. It's quite interesting.

We gave talks in Sacrament Meeting yesterday. Oh, what a rush. It was on the Holy Ghost. I guess I don't have much to say about that I don't know why I brought it up.

Well, anyways...

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

“I am a Witness”       July 21, 2014

This will be a tough one to not seem overly dramatic. I apologize in advance for the embarrassing display of emotion, my friends. I’m working on it.

I might start with the trivial and end with the thoughts that I can’t shake from my heart. I have a new companion in addition to Elder Largent. Elder Stack came in and is three packing with us until... well... next Monday. I have had an amazing week. We are focusing on prioritizing time and resources. It's been opening a lot more time for us to just get out and knock on some doors. I enjoy every moment of every day. I am tired beyond belief, but I'm sustained and energized. Somehow. I know how. God is good. Though within the prioritizing and using our resources as wisely as possible we still found ourselves all over the mission. That’s ok, too. We’ve just been listening to talks and fueling the spirit that loves that kind of stuff.

I was on exchanges with the Everett zone leaders this week and we just threw down some mad baptism beats. Beat boxing and rapping up a storm while we cruised the streets of Broadway and beyond.  I think it brought the spirit, or something did, because we found five new investigators in just a couple hours. It was a day of miracles and laughter. I wish days like that would last forever.

I don't fear the future, ok, that's only a half lie. I don't feel fear for the future AS LONG AS I stay close to the spirit. I have learned, among so many other things that "God will never forsake." I have complete confidence that "His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts than our thoughts,” especially mine. I feel peace right now even with all the distractions and things which could easily beset me. The spirit of God does not fail us. It is promised to those who are faithful after receiving the authorized ordinance of baptism. Whenever I don’t feel its guidance or comfort then I immediately know that I need to repent and align my will with the Father. I'm not perfect at this whole thing, obviously. I just know that it's true. I know is that I have come acquainted with the Master and His teachings. I know that His power and authority is real and that it is given to qualified men on the earth. That is the way God wants it to be done. I know that the Brethren are inspired men of God who are special witnesses of our Savior. There is power in their words because they are Christ's words. I know that I can confirm the words they say as I pray and seek for a confirmation through the spirit. I know that more happiness and joy come through obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel than any other source or avenue. Yep, obedience is the secret to it all, folks. It’s what opens up more capacity to love. It’s what conquers our doubts and clears our eyes. It’s what allows us to see the hand of God in our lives. I know that the truth of God stands independent and unchangeable from our perspective.

As some singer once said, “The road is long and the river is wide.” My next step in the journey is the same as it was yesterday and the day before: Love God. Love man.

If only a little longer,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Trent's letter on June 23, 2014, "Til Death"

The many things that should be said are left without an utterance. The tasks that should be done remain untouched while the songs that wish to be sung are quenched in the winds of silence. I am in one of those retrospective moods where everything from the past seems to be present and I am longing to repeat what is before me. I love my mission. Man, I love you, Ma' FAMILY!

The chaos and the commotion that I seem to live in is becoming increasingly enjoyable. I think at the end of the day, the thing I'm learning the most is the importance of priorities. I want to know where my priorities are and where my sight is fixed. Often times I feel like it's faced inwards and that has always led to a hindrance of progression. The power and the development I have learned is from facing outwards. I know that there is power in submission and humility. I feel hypocritical saying this truth because of my imperfections in it's pursuit, but I still gained the knowledge through experience.

Ah, guys, guess what? You guessed it. There were some miracles this week... because God is good and so is His work. I'll just catch you up on the "latest and greatest." It was towards the end of the day of an exchange with Elder Holt (my buddy) and we stopped by our investigators house. The first part of our conversation consisted of him and his wife listing ALL the reasons why they couldn't come to church or keep their commitments we left with them.  I prayed to understand where they were coming from and how I could help them understand. After they let off their steam, I just said to the wife, "I want to ask you a question. What do you think our purpose is in coming to your home?" She responded, "To be disciples and teach us what we're supposed to do. I know what I'm supposed to do I just can't do it. I'm too busy.  My husband is too busy and won't make this a priority and I don't want to do this on my own."  I thought about it for a second and just said, "Our purpose is to INVITE you to come unto Christ. We represent Him and will ONLY invite you to do what He would say if He were here Himself. I know that if Christ were here right now He would never stop inviting you to attend church. I don't care what you have going on that seems more important. He loves you and will always invite you to unto Him.  I know that Christ will never stop inviting you to be baptized into His church. I know that His arms are always open to you both and He wants you to have peace, strength and happiness in the family in this life and the only way that can continue in the next life is if you act on the invitations He (and we) are extending to you.  Will you come to church tomorrow regardless of all the excuses you just made?" There is power in the call and mantle of being a full time missionary, I have learned. It's nothing that I have developed or done. After I said that it hit me really hard how true it is. We really are His representatives. "Whether it be by mine own voice, or the voice of my servants, it is the same." I wish I understood that more fully earlier in my mission. Power comes from testifying of Christ and testifying as if Christ were speaking through you. Missionaries are nothing in and of themselves. I know I'm not, at least. They both said yes.  We then said we'll close with a prayer and that we'll see them tomorrow. Right then the phone rang from a random number and someone from the ward was calling offering a ride to church. We didn't plan any of that. We were all amazed at the way that Heavenly Father provided the way for them to come to church after months of making excuses. They came to church and had a wonderful experience being nourished by the good word of God.

We've been teaching another part member family where the wife isn't a member and the husband has been less active for a long time. She has a beautiful heart. She is on date for July 26th and also came to church with her husband. It was a good week. Also, the family of five I was working with in my last area all got baptized last week too. That was cool.

I wonder what else has happened in my life. I don't really know. My memory is darkening as the circles around my eyes seem to be doing the same thing.

Cheers,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Trent's letter from July 7, 2014

Mission Leader Council went wonderfully well this week, hopefully. I think it did. The night before the big meeting we were up all night with one of my friends named Elder Stack. He’s a brilliant man who can pretty much do anything in his head or on a computer. Same thing. He’s working in the office to create reports and excel sheets for the metrics of the mission. Anyways, he slept over with us the night before MLC and worked on all that kind of stuff. We finally went to bed around 2:30AM and slept beautifully for almost four hours. 

The new day began and the meeting came. Elder Largent and I trained on invitations, commitments and following up. I want to apply those principles in my future life. If I knew the truths I’ve learned from being on a mission while in high school, man, I could have done a lot more with my life. It would have helped school, relationships, happiness, peace, respect, everything. Specifically chapters 11 and 8 (and 6, 10, 5, 4, 2… too many good ones) of Preach my Gospel will be beneficial and crucial. Anyways, as I was instructing and talking about commitments I had a thought: What would it be like if Christ were to teach a lesson and invite someone to keep a commitment such as living the law of chastity? Would he say something like, “So I explained the law of chastity, it’s way good if you keep it. I’ve already told you the good and bad of it. You should keep it. Will you do that?” I have a feeling he would be a little more urgent and loving. I think he would urge and plead with all of his heart that we would keep the commandment so that we can be blessed. He would do everything he could to help US CHOOSE to commit to it. Why? It’s because He loves us, of course, perfectly and without fail. How are we, as representatives of Jesus Christ, to be any different than that example that Christ has set? He will always invite boldly and with love for people to repent, change and live in accordance with his gospel. It’s not for His own gain, but for His brothers and sisters, just as it is with us. We invite people to keep commitments not for our own gain, but for theirs. We need to teach clearly, powerfully and lovingly to help these friends understand that. 

Anyways, moral of the story, keep the commandments of the Lord and you will gain insight, knowledge, increased faith, happiness, direction and clarity, to name just a few. I testify that there is no other way of true and lasting happiness than through this, the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, though there are things that are very close. There are many shades of this “good” but there is only one “strait and narrow path” in which we should enter.  I have been commissioned of Jesus Christ to share this truth with everyone who will hear. I love you :)

One of our investigators is on a roller coaster of progression. One day we’re not sure if she’s “getting it.” Then on another day, like Saturday, we came over and she said, “That’s it. I’ve thrown all my cigarettes away, no more coffee, only herbal tea.” Then she kicked her friend out and said, “I need to have lessons so I can get baptized soon!” That’s always a good sign. She and her husband came to church and enjoyed it. They’ve been coming pretty consistently lately. It’s been making us (and Heavenly Father) so very happy.  I am developing more of Christ-like love for her and the people we are working with. My letters are definitely tainted by the current emotion that I feel. I do have great faith that this area can continue to see miracles “after all we can do.” I only say that last part because I want to emphasize the importance of our choices and responsibilities in carrying out the work of the Lord. I have learned, among many other things, that without an ACT in accordance with God’s commandments we will not see results or have our faith increased. I know that miracles come from the application of true, God given principles within the time table of Deity. I know that our choices are crucial to everything. I am not an object to be acted upon, no matter the emotions, tendencies or temptations that surround me. I can choose to ACT differently and righteously, and then comes the power. There is power in knowledge and there is wisdom in obedience. It takes both. I hope that in some small way I am able to help our investigator understand the concept of actions, responsibility and grace. Just in a simpler way than I just explained.

I think it’s really hitting me that this whole thing will soon be a fond dream. I feel torn in so many ways. I feel love and peace in conflicting pieces. I feel gratitude for the opportunity I have had to dedicate my life to the Lord. I know the journey doesn't end here. I will always be a missionary. My tag is painted in my heart, as Paul said, “not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God.”

Cheers,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

P.S. I love you

Trent's letter from June 30, 2014

Look at this little old nugget of memories I found on the computer. My first day in the mission. How adorable. 

June 30, 2014

I feel very humbled to be at this point of the journey. I feel emotions of happiness, peace, regret yet hope in the Lord. I feel calm and appreciative of the experiences that I have been able to witness and live. I feel that the changes that have happened within me on my mission have fluctuated from time to time. At some points I felt like I was a totally different person than I was before. I felt good and confident. Other times I have felt like I am just running in the same circles that I did in the lifetime before. All in all, as I look at the trend of progress and development, I have seen a “mighty change” happen within me. I often think that if people on my mission knew me just a few years before they would not have guessed that I am who I am today. I am grateful for the atonement that has carried me and brought me from the dust. Though I still stumble and falter, my eyes are fixed on the unchangeable truths and principles that will lead me to salvation. I didn't have that before. I was constantly “tossed to and fro,” not really knowing what to build upon and what or whom to put my trust and devotion. I now know. I cannot deny it. I thank my mission for that truth and I treasure the objective truth about my Father in Heaven, His son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost, which has testified to my mind and heart of the things that I now know. I think if I had to sum up a large portion of my mission, with all the lessons through failure and success, it would be found in this scripture:

Luke 22: 31-32 And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

I have been on both ends of that scripture throughout this short time as a missionary. I have felt the temptations. I have felt the prayers of my loved ones and the strengthening power of Christ. The happiest times of my mission, however, have been as I have “strengthened my brethren.” I have come to know, through experience and observation that true and lasting happiness comes through obedience to the gospel and serving with love those who are around me. I also have come to know that I am nothing without the spirit. The spirit is what gives me utterance and allows me to be effective and powerful. 

I am in the home stretch. This next week, like usual, will be a busy one. Exchanges from north to south and meetings in between. I'm ready for the lessons I need to learn. 

I'm just going along, doing my thing, playing the fool, not really knowing what's ahead of me. I don't know what to tell you of what's going on in my day to day life. Something we're working on is redoing all of the metrics and reporting systems in our meetings across the mission. I'm getting quite good with excel. It's fun. It's different side of missionary work, for sure. I don't feel as good at the end of the day. We still get to proselyte sometimes. We had a couple people at church and a couple with a date for baptism. So, all in all, I can't complain. I love my God. I love my family. I love my mission.

Hey, I love you.

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

Moses Avenue: May 27, 2014

This week could be remembered as a week of learning and insight. I have learned, among many other things that you truly, “get what you go for.” It’s all a matter of what direction I am facing. I know where I can go for peace. I know what it is that saves me and enables me. I know in whom I have trusted. No matter my waters of the great deep or my afflictions in the wilderness, I know the Lord is my shepherd. I have a testimony of the little things. I believe that the small amounts of effort we put into our spiritual growth is what will make the difference in our big decisions.

I wonder what it will be like when I don’t have all the scripture language in my mind when I’m writing or talking. I use that kind of language halfway facetiously but, at the same time, it’s nice to always have scriptures on the top of my head as I try to express my thoughts. The spirit is able to bring all things to my remembrance that Christ has said to me and I never want it to go away. I almost want to go on a rant of all the things I am NOT without the spirit, just to illustrate my thoughts right now, but then I realized there wouldn't be enough time in the day or room on the computer for such a list. I know that I truly am nothing without my Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. The difference is infinite. 

I went to the San Juan Islands yesterday for P-day. It was like all of the beautiful creations in life decided to settle in a small group of Islands for my ferry to pass by and enjoy. This family (the home that I Skyped from on Mother's day) took us up there. Their company might've even been better than the majestic sighting experience.  I just love them. I wish I were still in their ward. I love the ward I'm in though, Mays Pond, or in other words, The Land of the Successful and Scholarly. It's a very nice area with even nicer people. It's a place I wish I could spend more time in. With zone conferences, exchanges, office work and logistical disasters, we often don't have time to proselyte there. We were able to somehow find three new investigators this week though. I thank the Lord for that little tender mercy. Always watching over. Yes, Mom, I did take pictures on the ferry trip. Just for you, actually. I made sure everyone reminded me at least every five minutes to take a picture for you. I'm trying to make up for all the lost memories that are only kept within this brain of mine. If I could go back in time and capture them on film for you, I surely would. Maybe.  

I will tell you about my zone conference of laws and motions while sitting by the beautiful ocean (I really am by the ocean. Don't think I just say things to make it sound nice). The training is based off of Newton's Laws of Motion. Sound familiar, Dad!? Thanks for the idea! I start off by inviting a missionary, and typically choose the biggest one, to come up front for a little demonstration. I tell him that my objective is to push him to the back of the room and he can't let that happen. We brace ourselves and then I push him as hard as I can for about five seconds so that we're all nice and exhausted. Everyone laughs (they better laugh!) and then I ask what happened when I pushed against him. "He pushed back," they all say in one accord. "Yes! He pushed back when I pushed against him. How much progress did we make in any direction?" 

"None, you stayed in the same spot," they hesitantly respond because of the obviousness of the question. Woops. 

"Exactly. We made no progress but used plenty of energy. 

Newtons Third Law of Motion: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. 

That was the principle that was demonstrated. Let's try another scenario," I would say as I prepared for another encounter with the largest missionary within the region. "Ok, same thing as last time, don't let me push you to the back of the room, ready?"

"Ready!"....................... and we just stare at each other in a competitive position with our hands up for a good five seconds. We stand back up straight and face the audience while they laugh in slight confusion. "Ok, what happened that time!?" I say with an expected excitement.

"Nothing! You didn't do anything."
"Hey, you're right! How much progress did we make...?" and so on until we come to the same conclusion as last time. Except this time we didn't use any energy.  

Newton's First Law of Motion: An object at rest will stay at rest unless it is acted upon by another force.

I then walk around for the final demonstration: Put my arm around the large missionary and walk with him in the same direction. Progress made. Energy harnessed and used effectively. 

Newton's Second Law of Motion: Momentum and Acceleration. 

I then relate it to contacting and how we see these laws being portrayed in the way we talk with people. We often push against people and they push back, or we don't make a move by either not talking to them or giving up too soon or too easily.  Actually, we're all going for the last one--overcoming objections, resolving concerns and helping them come unto Christ.  

"What are the typical concerns you hear when you first knock on a door?" We'll ask while writing on the board. "Not interested, already have a church, preconceived notions, too busy." The list goes on and on. We focus on one for our training so we can give more concrete examples than merely principles: "Not interested." We read in PMG and talk about how we are to overcome those objections in an effective way rather than pushing back or giving up too easily. We demonstrate the different laws of motion in contacting and what they look like. It's a crowd favorite to bash or to give up way too easily. I think they can all relate to the bad examples that we give. I've done those a million times in real life.  

The purpose is to help the people lower their hands from the defensive place and in a position where they're more receptive. A couple key notes is to show that you understand the person's concern. Even state it back to them. "I understand you're not interested, and that's ok! We're not here to twist your arm or anything like that. Out of curiosity though, do you mind if I ask what makes you not interested?" OR something along those lines to be able to understand what their concern is more fully. That way you can actually work with them. How are we supposed to resolve concerns if we don't know what it is? There are many wise words from Sean T. (Of Insanity fame). I think in this case, "Dig Deeper," really seems to hit the nail right on the head. Then trusting in the Spirit to understand what they are trying to say and how you can help them understand the truth.  I know that if people understood the reality about their misconception they would be fine. We have nothing to hide. Our message is true and if they understood it the right way they would know that for themselves. We don't need to fear. Trust in our message. Trust in God. Trust that the Spirit will help these friends of ours understand.

We have them practice the very opening of a contact, we come back together. Then we talk more about different principles and tips and then have them practice closing a contact so they can get another appointment and help them progress. It's a good one. I thank my Papa for it. He's my hero. 

I've been on exchanges from Bellingham to Lynnwood (North most part of the mission to furthest South) and all in between the past couple of weeks. Right now I'm in Mt. Vernon on an exchange and I'm just loving life. I'm sitting in the library chair that I sat in the very first time I emailed home as a missionary. We're going full circle here again, folks. The first shall be last. The last shall be first. It's a stretch, but it works. 

Notice how I'm wearing the camera around my chest. I did that for you, Mom :) So I wouldn't forget to capture every moment. That's my manly companion, Elder Garrett Wright Largent.

This is my best friend, Brother Kienzle. I'm pretty sure he was tickling my neck in this picture. He and his wife are moving to Vegas soon for him to attend med school. He's going to be a neurosurgeon. 

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

Michael Scott: May 12, 2014

Here I go, ‘round and around' until I’m back in the spot I was almost a year ago. The circular motions of repeating and redoing are before my face, on my right hand and on my left.  “You’re here till the end,” President says with a half-smile, half painful looking face.  It’s good to be back to the grind, to the pressure, to the sleep depriving contraption we've all come to call “The Office.” I am strongly exaggerating with that description, but they were the first words that came to mind. I think it’s time for me to shift my paradigms again. I look forward to the opportunities of failure and growth these last couple months. I hope it never ends- I’m learning that I don’t always get what I want unfortunately. 

It’s interesting how in moments of change, the adversary exploits the vulnerability and I see in plain view all of my flaws and inadequacies. It’s almost refreshing, in a “being compelled to be humble” kind of way. It’s also kind of debilitating, in a more obvious way. I am grateful for my friend and Savior who is carrying me and loving me through it all. I feel at peace right now. I feel peace a lot. I know that I am understood and my footsteps are guided by He who has walked the road before me. I am also grateful to my wonderful family who is so unconditional in their love and encouragement. Love in the home, regardless of the distance that separates the people, is a powerful and essential tool of development, nurturing and progression. I know that families are divinely organized and appointed for the benefit of all mankind. My family means everything to me. I wish everyone in the world (more particularly in Everett, WA, for the time being) could feel the kind of comfort, appreciation and love that comes from a gospel centered home. It’s almost a tangible difference in the homes where the priesthood is strong, present and tied together with the bonds of the atonement and blessings from our Father in Heaven, than any other “whatever centered” houses. I have felt the difference. I know that God is a “family man” if you want to put it lightly, which I will, for the sake of simplicity and to get that point across. Mom and Dad, you are the ultimate example of Christ-like love and selfless service to our family. We all feel blessed, beyond belief and through the eternities, to be part of your wonderful family. Lindsay, Joe, McKenna: I have learned what true relationships, and love feels like because of the roles you play in my life. I know that I am never alone or without support when I have you guys around. For lack of a better phrase I know that you, “have my back,” in every situation and time. In short, I wish I could express my thanks and love for you all in a better, more meaningful, way than the typical clichés that too quickly flow from these ragged, nailed fingers of mine. I am forever in your debt.

This is the time of all times. The time for love, time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted (TIME TO HARVEST) A time to kill (evil), and a time to heal (broken hearts); a time to break down (muscles), and a time to build up (by eating protein); A time to weep (mission is ending), and a time to laugh (at myself) a time to mourn (with those that mourn, see Mosiah 18), and a time to dance (Mom, you got this one); A time to cast away stones(I love throwing rocks), and a time to gather stones together (Kenna could do that for me after I throw them); a time to embrace (my mission), and a time to refrain from embracing (beautiful women); A time to get (buff), and a time to lose (weight); a time to keep (working hard), and a time to cast away (chains of complacency and fears); A time to rend (what does rend mean again), and a time to sew (never learned how to do that); a time to keep silence(…….), and a time to speak (to the world about the restoration); A time to love (everyone), and a time to hate (Satan); a time of war (against your temptations), and a time of peace (Woodstock). (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8)

I never thought Ecclesiastes could say it so well. All I can do is slap an “Amen” sticker on that and call it quits. That was fun. You should try doing some mad libs with scriptures like that. Just throw in whatever applies to you where I did the parentheses and you’ll have yourself a somewhat light minded/more personal scripture to you. 

This next week I’ll be up Northward on exchanges with a couple zone leaders and doing zone conferences around the mission. I’m quite excited. More giddy, than anything else. I’m constantly giggling and slapping my companion’s knee in a fit of excitement. It’s getting out of control.

Through time and eternity,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill  

Rise and Fall: May 5, 2014

I am grateful to be alive today. It's one of those days where I woke up wondering, "What in the world is going to happen to me for the rest of my mission." I feel blessed to be at peace with whatever does end up happening. I believe it's a gift from my Father in Heaven that he allows me to feel calm and sure with the waves of uncertainty and curiosity surrounding me. I love the gospel that allows that gift to be in my life. I never felt that before in my earlier years. There is power in the true principles of relying on Christ and allowing the enabling power of the atonement to take place in my heart. It's almost like the proverbial energy drink that allows me to do things beyond my normal ability. That's how my Papa described it to me and I took note. I think Paul said it best, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." 

I have had a fascination with people this week. I always do and have had that intrigue but this week was special. I found my self smiling when I saw anyone, regardless of their looks or manners. I just wanted to see people and see how they acted. The common thought that came to my mind was, "What is your story?" I know that every has unique experiences and beliefs that affect their every decision. I find it interesting to see who will sit in the back of the bus or who will sit by the bus driver and strike up a conversation. I want to know how to see from their lenses. I love people with a lot more sincerity when I think about them that way. I can somewhat trip myself out when I think about it long enough at a stop light. I see someone next to me with long hair and a beard who, stereotypically, wouldn't want to talk to me. Yet, only maybe 50 years ago we were in the same place (with God). It's an awakening to me to see that they are my brothers and sisters. We truly are connected and I just need to understand them enough to help them awaken the truths they've already learned. 

Ken is the one on the left. Dan is the one right by him. I love them dearly

I love you. 

Cheers

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

Rhythm and Blues: April 28, 2014

I was able to experience the full force of monotony and mediocrity this week. There are so many lessons to be learned from the mundane.  If only I could shake the chains of complacency and apathy for a second then maybe I could relay the insights that shaped my perspective again. In essence, I sang the blues while the rain soaked my shoes. I suppose there’s a little more…

It was one of those weeks where everyone in Everett decided to get together in a secret meeting and unanimously decided that they weren’t going to talk to the Mormon missionaries or open their doors. But! The important note to remember is that if they did open the door, they can’t show any interest. They should actually act like they hate us, if at all possible. I have to give them some credit. They definitely did stick to the plan if such a conspiracy does exist, which it does. I know it. Though amongst the struggle and the disappointment I found myself talking to my Father in Heaven throughout the entire day and I’m thankful for that. I think sometimes it’s easier to be in the peaks and the valleys of life rather than being stuck somewhere in the middle. At least you know there’s somewhere to go when you’re high or low. I’ve definitely had worse weeks. I’ve definitely had better. I think it’s times like these that show me who I really am. I can either push through and my character will be shaped or lie down in the proverbial bed of causality and disobedience. I think life will be full of the mundane, and that’s ok. I was able to “find joy in the little things,” like I too often say.

I even enjoyed the lower points of the week more than the rest because at least it was something that shook my reality for a little bit. Yesterday was a nice, beautiful morning and all was looking up. After church we rode our bikes around while Mother Nature decided to dump buckets of hail relentlessly on the Lord’s anointed. No one else seemed to be outside. So I feel like it was quite deliberate. Anyways, we went down this big hill with no vision or feeling in my body from the cold, harsh exposure to the elements and I just couldn’t stop smiling. I thanked Heavenly Father for the chance to be on a mission and to be able to have experiences like that. Even the bad days are making me miss what I will miss in the near future. I don’t know what I’d do or be without my mission. It means everything to me. Sorry, tangent, back to the story: We stopped at the end of the street and locked up our bikes and hit the streets with our tools of the harvest in our pockets to keep it from the wetness. We hit all the doors that seemed to know about the secret meeting I was talking about earlier and then a sudden gift from on high happened. I saw a fire burning by some rundown apartments and a group of people listening to music and dancing. “Finally, some people I can talk to,” I thought to myself hesitantly, not knowing if they were also part of the conspiracy. We approached them and joked about the weather, their beards and it went on to a more substantial conversation. Those lovely self proclaimed “Pagan Hippies” had some wonderful insight to the universe, life and love. I learned a lot. I’m not sure how much of it I believe but there were some nuggets of truth hidden throughout their mirage of reality. We talked to them about what’s important to us and why we feel strongly about it. I tried to put it into words that were more on their level: “Reality, universe, love, marijuana (just kidding… but really), webbing of parallel realities, sphere of rainbows and prophecies, Hebrew, all backed up, proof, logic,” you know, all the things that sound fascinating but don’t have much meaning behind them. I truly enjoyed it. I thought it was a little tender mercy that was handed to me on a silver platter, perhaps a platter made of cannabis, if such a thing exists in this “sphere of existence.”

Our investigators are solid in the moment and fleeting in our absence. We need some prayers and fasting for these friends of ours. If all goes well, we will have 8 baptisms on May 17^th. I’ll let you know how that all goes down. I really need to start taking more pictures, don’t I Mom? I’m sorry. Negligence is my arch enemy right now. It’s ever present in my mind with all things photography.

I had the thrill of sitting in the E.R. while my companion had tests run all over him. Once we finished the conversation with our hippie friends we got back on our bikes and rode up a hill of enormous size. It wasn’t that big, but, anyways, my comp pulls over and starts clenching his jaw with his hands and gasping for air. I was like, “uhhh,” what the heck should I be doing right now?" He started looking better and we rode our bikes again. So after a while I rode along side of him and looked at him and could tell he was in a lot of pain. We pulled over and made the necessary calls and then got told to go to the hospital. So fast forward through the excruciating long wait for my friend, we got in to see the doctor. The diagnosis: TMJ Arthralgia. All I know is that my poor companion has had a rough past couple of weeks. I feel bad. He’s a good man.

All in all, the sun keeps setting and the work keeps moving.

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

The First Shall Be Last: April 21, 2014

I have been praying a lot, thinking a lot, wondering a lot. I’ve decided that I'm grateful to have people in my life that I don’t get along with automatically. As weird as it sounds, I look forward to having different kinds of people around me because I know I will have a lot that I will be with my whole life. I am grateful because I have to rely on God in order to go on. I can’t remain neutral. I have felt love for people who I struggled with, and I know that it didn’t come from me. It’s a love that I can never find on my own. It’s an interesting concept but I’ve seen that when I get closer to God I get closer to the people who I wouldn't naturally get along with, because I see them differently. I’m also grateful for the people who are not difficult to get along with. They’re easier to be grateful for. It’s a lot easier and lovelier, though it allows room for me to not rely on God as desperately for the survival of our relationship. It makes me think of Ether 12:27. The weakness of having bad feelings towards someone can turn into a wonderful strength through Christ. I’ve seen this scripture fulfilled in a lot of different ways on my mission. I have never felt a stronger connection to my Father in Heaven than I do at this time in my life. I feel it deeply and I feel it quietly. I know that the Holy Ghost is powerful. I know that it is real.

We’ve had the chance to be teaching a wonderful family.  The father, was baptized when he was eight but has been on the streets most of his life. While he was in prison he came to know the bible extremely well and has a beautiful heart. The mother, has never really felt prayers answered in her life. The son, who is seventeen, is very sincere and looking for “something” but just doesn’t quite know what to find yet. We have taught them a couple times and they’ve come to church a couple times. We decided to just focus on the Book of Mormon and to get them motivated to read it on their own. We started with a Mormon Message clip about the Book of Mormon and I felt this comfort and warmth that made me smile. I asked them if they felt it too afterwards and they said yes. We read the first chapter of 1^st Nephi and the spirit was quite present as we asked questions and talked about it. We were about to close and the mom saw another video on the screen about Christ and asked if we could watch it. Of course, we did, and during the short clip I had a distinct and powerful prompting that we needed to invite them to be baptized on May 17^th.  The spirit was sure.  After the video, I knew we needed the spirit to close so right as the clip ended I somewhat abruptly asked the son to say the closing prayer. He agreed and had a beautiful communication with his father in heaven and then we invited them to be baptized on May 17^th and they accepted. It was a powerful experience that taught me the necessity of obedience and diligence to qualify for the small whisperings of the spirit. I know that because of our exact obedience and hard work we are able to qualify for the spirit to work in us to be effective tools in the Lord’s hands. The spirit makes everything beautiful, especially the little things.

I know I always talk about “my mission.” I just keep having these reminiscent and grateful thoughts for this experience that I want to share. I know that I learned a lot on my mission by the time I was six months out, just all sorts of good stuff. Then I learned even more when I hit a year. Now, being out around 20 months, I think about how much I’ve changed and learned because of this experience. I know that by the end I’ll have learned things that I didn’t know and understand now. Knowledge and experience is added onto me line upon line. Interesting how the scriptures always end up being fulfilled throughout my life. Maybe I’m just starting to recognize them more. The mission has been a mini life that has given me an eternal perspective I’ve never seen or known before. My eyes have been opened to the reality of things. I feel safe. I feel sure and I feel peace. I know moments like this won’t last forever so I’ll try not to blink while they do.  

Remember how I used to go to Fort Casey and Fort Ebey when I was on Whidbey Island like 18 months ago? Oh, those were the days. Well, last preparation day I went back to those blessed grounds. This time it was with my new district. We walked around with the wind blowing our hair and took all sorts of pictures and I felt very nostalgic. 

Humility is Power

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Out on a Dirt Road: April 14, 2014

If I closed my eyes and tried to picture a traumatic experience in a typical missionary day, I would merely need to think back to Tuesday of last week. It all started with the fall, the bicycle kind, the kind where my companion is involve, not me. Don’t worry. It’s more comical than serious but, at the time, it seemed quite dramatic. Ha I’m already laughing just thinking about. Be prepared to have one of those “I guess you had to be there,” type reactions to this story. It’s worth the risk. 

It was raining pretty hard last Tuesday while we’re riding around on our bicycles. We decided to take a short cut that takes us through a dirt road and over a bridge. I was behind my comp as he went down the dirt road. Before I reached the bottom I heard a loud noise and some groaning. I went down the hill and saw my companion sprawled out on the ground with this bike flipped on the other side of the bridge. I just knew it was coming as soon as I saw the dirt road and the speed that he was going towards it. He couldn’t walk or get up for a long time. Finally he mustered up enough motivation to bring himself to his feet and started limping around. He’s a tough guy so just figured he’d walk it off and it’d get better. Eventually, after my nagging he said, “We should probably call someone. This isn’t getting any better.” I agreed. So there we were at the bottom of all these hills with a disabled leg, in the pouring rain, trying to get a hold of someone that could help us. First call, no one answered. Second call, no one answered. And so it went for about forty five minutes. We finally rode/limped our way to a member’s house: wasn’t home. We were stuck again. We repeated the same steps for another member and… yeah they were home actually. We got him all iced and medicated and went on throughout the day with our lessons and what not. 

Time sure seems to be picking up its pace again. I also like the way the weather is behaving lately. Almost like all the elements of space and time are coming together to reward the citizens in Everett, Washington for being so wonderful. There are many things I’ve learned since I’ve been here in downtown Everett. Things like, “Don’t shoot, civilian-” while throwing my hands in the air. It tends to work. Mom that was a joke, I promise. But I have learned other things like patience, disappointment and love. I like the times on my mission where I feel a need to rely on God. Not just a desire, but I feel like I need to submit to him or I won’t survive (spiritually survive, again, Mom, I’m just fine over here.) “Revelation rarely comes without a righteous desire to know and do the will of the Lord.” I just heard that playing from a speaker next to me. I like it. I think I’ll keep it in here. 

I’ll just share one conversation with someone I had the honor of meeting this week, since I've had some requests. I liked this one.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

“Boo, man, what’s your name?”

“Boo? That’s a cool name I’m Elder…”

“Hey you guys don’t mind weed right?”

“What?”

"You don't mind weed.... you know, weeeeeed..." He said very clearly and distinctly to make sure I understood what he was saying as he showed us a hand full of weed and  joint that he was lighting up…

“Oh,” I said, “umm nah it’s good man.” I didn’t know what to say ha.

“K cool, yeah you guys used to come over to my house and just kick it with us. Ya’ll are pretty cool ya know? Come by anytime.”

The conversation went on, but the highlight for me was that you would have expected him to have a cigarette in his hand. Nope, not anymore, it’s evolving here I Everett. Middle of the day has no shame or secrets on the streets. Things are a changing, for better or for worse. I’m just kidding, definitely for worse. I really will miss this place. 

Well, I don’t have much else to say.

Until next time

Cheers

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

"My Words are their Words": April 7, 2014

It feels like I've come full circle with the conferences this weekend. I remember the first time I watched conference in the mission I felt happy and honored to be on a mission. Home was a little too close and it distracted me. This time I watched conference I felt honored and happy to be on a mission, and home is now closer, but in the other direction. The cycle of the mission is an interesting one. I've had lots of thoughts of it's affect on me and the rest of my life. The last couple days were like pure revelation flowing through me. All the questions I had and hoped to receive answers for were given. I know that the Holy Ghost guided my thoughts to tell me what I needed to know and most importantly, what I needed to do, in order to be in line with the Lord and His path for me. 

I know that this is the true and living church on the earth. I know that Thomas S. Monson is called to be the Lord's authorized steward and spokesman on the earth. I know this is Christ's church and that He guides and directs it through His prophet and servants. I feel it. I felt it strongly as I heard them speak and give their special witness to the world. They know God. I know what they said to me was exactly what God would have me hear. I know that if I didn't receive answers, or direction from this conference, it is not the fault of the Lord's anointed. It would be my own cause. If at any time I find myself saying a certain conference was not very inspiring or uplifting I think about the story of Nephi and his brother and determine which example I'm emulating. Laman and Lemuel received the same counsel and prophecies from their father, Lehi, as Nephi did. Just as we all received the same counsel and prophecies from our Prophet. Yet, the influence and affect this had on Nephi was completely different than it was on Laman and Lemuel. Why is that? Let's look at the formula for allowing the words of a prophet sink in or remain untouched from the heart. 

DILEMMA:

LAMAN & LEMUEL:Behold, we cannot understand the words which our father hath spoken concerning the natural branches of the olive tree, and also concerning the Gentiles.

OUR APPLICATION: I don't see why conference was important. I don't understand. It was kind of worthless and repetitive. I've heard all that before.

NEPHI: And I said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?

LAMAN & LEMUEL And they said unto me: We have not; for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us.

OUR APPLICATION: I just showed up to conference hoping to get something out of it. I didn't really pray or anything. It should have just hit me if it was good enough. I should have just heard what I needed to hear. 

ANSWER:

NEPHI: Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.

Looking at all the times I showed up to conference with a hardened heart and an unwilling disposition to change, I see that I never received any inspiration. I was bored and tired. I know that since I prepared, and came prayerfully, I received answers through the Holy Ghost. I gain a new insight and perspective on things I didn't have before. I know that when I will act in accordance with what I was instructed, I will be blessed. D&C 82:10. "I the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise."

Anyways.

I feel preachy.

We were able to talk to a lot of people this week. We met one girl who was brought to church by a friend. We've met with her twice now and she accepted the invitation to be baptized. The only catch is that we found out she lives in another ward so... woof. Salvation is salvation. I don't mind. I'm just glad we were able to get her started on the path. It's always a good time. We found another family that said they'd be baptized too. I'll tell you more about them next week when I have time. 

My focus this week has been listening. Learning how to listen intently to everything people say to me. I'm probably not very good at it but it's been interesting what I've been able to learn. When I observe their demeanor and their tone of voice and then listen to the words they have to say, the holy ghost helps me discern what it is they need and what I should say. It works better than when I just try and push my agenda and teachings on them. Those are Elder Bednar's observations, I'm just trying to do what he's taught. I think it works. I'd like to get better at it some day. I've heard all that stuff at the beginning of my mission and I thought, "yeah, yeah, it's good stuff. Heard it before. Now what's something new I can try?" I'm learning that I know the basics. I know the way I'm supposed to do things. I don't need to reinvent the wheel of missionary work. I just need to do what the Lord's anointed have instructed. Preach My Gospel. The Scriptures. There's my answers. I just need to see instead of merely looking. Whatever that means.

Still fighting the good fight,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

Nothing, Really... March 31, 2014

Let me paint a little picture of my reality: When my sleepy head hits the pillow after the long day of work, I close my eyes, smile and fall asleep to the next-door shrieks of yelling and screaming. Peace comes in mysterious ways here in Everett. I've never been happier to be here. It's not as dramatic as you may think. Though, I only speak the truth.

I'm just living my life as the newly called Relief Society President of this sisterhood of missionaries. It's quite the life, if I do say so myself. Which I do. My companion is the first counselor. (Editor note: I think this means he is a District Leader of an area filled with sisters)

This is the time for me to focus on being a missionary. 

To most people that statement would be too obvious. Probably overly simple. To those people I would say, you're right. It is simple and obvious and it has infinite meaning to me if I really think about all it's implications. I am now winding down the time to represent Christ in the authorized and official manner. I don't know if I've lived up to it's potential and privilege. I think about how powerful of a concept that is. I think about how much of a responsibility and honor it is. I think about how I haven't fully lived up to it. I don't know how I could. I just know that I'm going to miss it.

Now is not the time for those kinds of thoughts.

I'm a believer of all things true. I've come to face the double edged sword of change recently. It's a little sharper than usual. My companion has the heart of something that has a kind heart. (Pardon my lack of creativity on that one). He is a rodeo champion and hard worker from Manti, Utah. We ride our bikes around every chance we get and haven't stopped smiling since. I don't know if that last part is true. I haven't smiled a lot, I'm sure. I just like to ride my bicycle. I like to ride my bike. 

I'm still adjusting to this whole "family ward" missionary persona I'm supposed to have.  This week felt like a blur, and not the good kind. Time slowed down just enough for me to miss the past and think of the future. I miss the fast days and slow dreams. I must need to learn something here. Well, I need to learn something everywhere. Just, especially here? Whatever. I love the ward. Their arms are supportive and understanding. They "get it," which I'm grateful for.

We have a wonderful family who is getting baptized pretty soon. We're knocking all sorts of doors and talking with everyone that's within sight and sound. Just the other day we walked back to the street from knocking on a door and I saw a guy with long hair spitting some mad verses out. I smiled and hollered, "Did you write that?"
"Ah yeah, man. I wrote it."

"Could you show us?"

"Yeah, man just a sec."

"What's your name?"

"Solass..."
"C'mon, that's not you're real name..."
"Nah, it's _____"

"Are you famous?"

"I'll be on TV one day, man."
"I'll watch you, let's hear it."

We stood and listened to one of the most impressive lyrical games that I've heard a brotha' spit. It was chilling. Then we invited him to be baptized and we'll meet up with him tomorrow. I just love experiences like that. He'll be in the YSA ward though. Got to hand that fool off. No, I'm not jealous. Why would you even think that. 

The rain is not my friend

The rain is not my friend

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

On To the Next One: March 24, 2014

My last week in Granite Falls was like unto most of my time here: Wonderful. I saw a lot of things that will stick with me for a while. I’ll get to that in a minute. As you may have inferred from my first sentence, yep, I’m transferring outta this place. Am I sad? Yes. I will miss the investigators a whole lot. I love them dearly. They were my best friends in this area.

One of our investigators is a beautiful soul who would love nothing more than to be free. We knocked on her door a couple weeks ago and she’s wanted to come to church ever since.  This Thursday we were talking with her in her driveway and she told us she will definitely be coming to church. There were a lot of distractions and people yelling at each other across the different trailers but there was somewhat of a still where we were amidst it all. We taught her the restoration and asked her to pray at the end and had some time of silence to think about what she’s feeling and thinking afterwards. We sat there in silence for probably 15 seconds after the prayer, which doesn’t sound too long but… whatever. It felt long. She picked up her head and we looked at her, smiled and asked, “How do you feel?”

She responded, “I feel this euphoric feeling,” And started to cry before she could finish her sentence. I was filled with joy and peace as I saw the hand of God working through his loved daughter. She is getting baptized on April 26^th.

There's someone we tracted into who wants to be baptized. He came to church and we had a couple lessons this week with him. He is very interested in what the “Lord God Almighty has in store for him.” Many great and marvelous things, is the answer to his search. Many great and marvelous things.

This one investigator and his son are some of the most entertaining people I’ve taught. I just love meeting with them. If I lived three life times through I still wouldn’t have the wisdom of the 14 year old son. It’s a real treat just to listen to his insights and questions. I tend to like it.

We are teaching a girl who is still on date for the 12^th of April and is moving right along. I like teaching her because she’s YSA age and I miss being in a singles ward. I’m still used to teaching in that style and haven’t fully adapted to being in a family ward. My next area will be a family ward too. Three transfers left. That’s a tough one to swallow. Wait, I was talking about this investigator. She’s more important than that stuff. So, she seems like she’s grown a lot since we first met her a couple weeks ago. She is praying out loud with us. She’s reading the Book of Mormon and understanding it pretty well. All in all, she’s becoming friends with that Holy Ghost whose influence is enlightening and inspiring. I can’t wait for her to have that friend with her all the time. Holy Ghost is my favorite. That sounded insincere. But… Holy Ghost is sick. (Sick=cool)

The guy I met a couple weeks ago is someone I’ll miss the most. I just love him with all this little heart of mine has to offer. We’re in contact every day and he shares his uplifting and beautiful experiences as he reads the Book of Mormon. It’s the most rewarding thing to be able to see the changes in someone from the time we met him struggling and in despair outside his apartment till now where he’s smiling and has hope in a better day. I testify that this hope and comfort is available to everyone. No one would have given him a second look. It seemed there’s no way he can get out of what he’s gotten into. Well, my friends who cannot see, I know that Christ has suffered beneath, around, and infinitely more than what this man has suffered or sinned. Jesus has paid the debt and price in full. We can’t repay that gift. We will never be able to. All we can do is USE the gift of the atonement. That’s what our investigator is doing. It works. I love this man because of his heart. His heart is sincere and broken. I sometimes get tears when I think about who he is, and what he’s willing to do to follow God. He’s my hero. I wish I had a heart like his.

While walking back to our car one day we saw a big group of bearded men yelling all sorts of profane things. I asked my companion if he wanted to go over there and he said, “I don’t have the confidence for that kind of thing,” with a half-smile on his face. I said, “me neither.” And we walked towards the men with the trucks and beers. They all started laughing and pulled out their cameras and phones to take pictures and flipped us off and everything. We talked to them and invited them to Christ and they said not unless we brought them some beer. So, the moral of the story is: Things don’t always work out the way you’d like them too but you still do what you’ve been asked to do. Fear is not the decider, you are. I looked back on that experience later in the day and wished I would have said other things. I wished I could have said more and preached to them more but I usually have thoughts like that. I just look back on things like that and think, “Dang, I won’t have the opportunity to put myself out there for the rest of my life.” I love the opportunities of the mission. I love the lessons I learn. I love the fear that comes and the fear that goes as you feel the presence of the Holy Ghost. I love the moments of unsureness and anxiety. I don’t love them in the heat of things. I kind of hate those feelings, but I like the lessons from them and the unique insights I gain from the pain. I do things wrong. I see my mistakes. I make plans to be better. I make the same mistakes again. I make plans to do better. I make the same mistakes again and then I see a pattern. I thank God for the mistakes I’ve made, but not just in of and in them. I thank Him for repentance and progression that comes through his Grace. I thank Him for even having the chance to come to His open arms when I am not worthy to even speak His name. I thank Him for the reliance I have on him to stay close. “Prone to wonder, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love. Here’s my heart, oh take and seal it.” That song brings tears to my eyes almost every time. I look forward to the day that I can “be like Him” and truly “see Him as He is.”

Anyways,

Video killed the radio star,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

Frankly, My Dear... March 17, 2014

Welcome to my experiences this week. Half-truths and exaggerated experiences will have to suffice this time around. I don’t have much to offer.

We met some wonderful people on the sunny day that happened to be Wednesday. We decided to take a trip on out to the boonies of our area and see what good things we could find there. It turned out to have plenty of intrigue and drugs for everyone involved down over yonder. Right out of the car we walked passed probably seven gates that said something along the lines of, “If you cross this fence you won’t be coming back alive.” That was pretty cool and also highly dramatized so take it for what you want. We had some insightful conversations with many people nonetheless (did you know that was one word?) 

I think the highlight of all of it was while we were on our way back in for dinner we saw a homeless looking man on a bike and gave him a little wave and a smile. As we stepped out of the car he came towards us and said,” Are you fellas good at riddles?” Of course we answered in the affirmative, regardless of our actual inadequate critical thinking skills. So he asked, “What grows when you feed it but dies….”

“FIRE!!!” I yelled  before he finished the sentence.

He smiled and said, “Ok, what is something that rich men need, poor men have…”

“Nothing!!” I interjected again. 

He smiled again and said, “touché, touché, now what are you fellas up to?” We answered but kept talking in his realm of philosophical madness for a couple minutes. Eventually we got it towards the religious aspect of life. By the end of it I invited him to be baptized and he said yes. So that was good. Our favorite part was while he was saying the closing prayer, haha oh man, this is classic, he said something like, “Please help these guys understand as I don’t show up for our appointment this Saturday. They’re good men. Help them understand, Father.” So I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that he told God that he wouldn't be showing up to our next lesson. One minute later he left on his bike saying, “See you Saturday, Fellas!” Good ole man. I just love Granite Falls. This kind of stuff makes me happy. I like seeing and talking with people with all sorts of backgrounds and stories. It gives me a fresh pair of eyes by the end of every day.  

As we were walking around later that night we saw a guy leaning up against his fence while looking deeply at the scarce street lights. We approached him and talked to him while he cried about his cat dying and alcoholism.  We left him with a prayer and came back the next day hoping he’d be a little more sober. We taught him the restoration and invited him to be baptized. He’s way into that kind of thing. Later that night he called and described the alter that he just built. It had a candle and everything. I think he was pretty proud of it. I’m pretty proud of him too. That took some work right there. I love that man. We've met with him three more times and have become buddies. His life is in the dumps. I can’t imagine the hole he’s in right now. I cried when we watched the Mormon message about a guy who overcame his addiction. He just kept crying and saying how much he wanted to be clean. It was very touching and humbling to me. I felt so blessed to have the gospel and the commandments. I used to view them as restrictions, as most (stupid) teenagers do, most of the world too. The deceiving “freedom” of his choices had ultimately led him to complete bondage. He had no agency any more. I just want him to be truly free. I know that freedom comes through obedience and submission through the only perfect example. It’s the great paradox of victory. We win as we surrender and submit. 

The rest is history,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill