A Rain Stain: February 24, 2014

Today is going to be one of those days where I don't say much but I mean everything that I say. Here are my seven observations and experiences for the week.

1. I have come to love umbrellas despite the criticism it often brings from "Washingtonians."

 

2. Diligence often comes with miracles. We found a new miracle this week and he loved church and the spirit.

 

3. Tracting is not as ineffective as some people think. Love is the key. Charm doesn't hurt.

 

4. I continue to fall short of perfection. It sometimes let it get to me. I have never felt more motivation to keep going strong. I can only thank Heavenly Father for that.

 

5. I love my mission and the dreams of home are becoming a little too vivid.

 

6. I miss everything: My friends in Bellingham, the friends I will leave here someday soon. Nostalgia is everywhere.

 

7. I know, now more than ever, that Joseph Smith was and is a Prophet of God. I've been studying him extensively and love him dearly.

 

I often want to know everything.

 

 

Elder Trent Jay Merrill

The Winds of Chance and Change: February 17, 2014

Greetings from the unknown world to most of civilized humanity. I only slightly exaggerate the new area in which I serve. It's actually quite wonderful here.  I have learned much about humility, diligence, and keeping the wallet in my front pocket. Life lessons learned.

 

It's been quite a  bit different to be in a family ward again. I don't exactly know how I feel about it. My teaching style and finding "kills" have revolved around people my own age. Now I'm back with the adults. I need to adapt and figure out how to be effective with this new demographic. Tips?

 

After a somewhat long day of knocking around  the neighborhoods we came across a wonderful miracle. A guy came to the door after we knocked with not too much faith. He said, "stay right there, hold on." So we did. He came back and invited us in while he was still talking on the phone. He hung up the phone and smiled. We started talking with him and learned that he has one of the most beautiful  hearts and desires I've ever felt and seen. Since that day we've met two more times and gave him a tour of the church. He said to us the other day that, as he prayed, he heard Heavenly Father tell him this was the right path for him. His  heart is pure. His mind is a little imperfect and has a lot of anxiety. We are praying to know what we can do to help him follow the promptings he's received. It might take a while. I love that man.

 

I don't know what else to say. I'm quite sick these days. I should be getting over it soon... says the hope inside of me. So I'm having a hard time remembering what happened. All in all... I'm glad to be here in Granite Falls. I'm going to learn, fail, and grow. Manhood here I come.

 

When all is said and done... there's just not much more to say.

 

 

Elder Trent  Jay Merrill

Gone With the Wind: February 10, 2014

My missionary adventure is taking another stop in another part of the world (mission). Where am I going? Good question... some call it paradise. I call it Granite Falls. The land of milk and honey.  I look forward to the many stories and experiences that will surely shape my perspective and insight of human nature. Today is one of those bitter sweet days that I sometimes have. I think it is sweet because life is good. I love my friends. I love my investigators and recent converts. I love the ward. I love the Lord. It's bitter because of two men named Elder Draper and Elder Pectol. They're leaving this "missionary mortality" as I have now titled it. They're moving on to the unknown of civility and the illusion of freedom. Perhaps it's more than an illusion, but to me... there is no after life of the mission. It's temporal and spiritual death.  It's over. I will never see them or anyone after the mission. That's what it feels like some time. Not really... it definitely did feel like that at the beginning of my mission though. I can't stop biting my nails.

There are many things that have been floating around this head of mine. For one: Remember that vague description of my confusion and unanswered questions the other week? Well... all my questions have been satisfied thus far. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Always coming through with his end of the deal. I wish I was a little more reliable.

Well this week was full of lessons, information and little bit of snow. I couldn't ask for more. I am trying to remember all the little things that make me happy here. Sister P's wonderful face in the morning. Elder Pymm's jokes and insights. James's sweet heart and humor. Katy's unfathomable observational abilities. Susana's sincerity and receptiveness. Maria and Kaitlyn's friendship and support. Bryce's stature and status to measure up to. Bishop's willingness to help any and everyone. Bellingham. Hippies. College kids. Western Washington University. Elder Draper. Catholic mass. Christian churches. and all things Sister P. I had to throw her in the list twice. The beginning and the end. Alpha and... ok that's too far. It's the only material I have to work with. What else can I be clever with if not the words in my head. All in all, I will miss this place dearly. I do not dread the future. I embrace and look forward to it. God is with me till the end. 

We had Mission Leader Council this week. It was a good one. President said something like, "Next time we have this meeting, most of you won't be here." He then shared the story of J. Ruben Clark. How he went from 1st counselor in the First Presidency to 2nd Counselor and when people asked how he felt about it he said, "In this church, it doesn't matter WHERE you serve, but HOW you serve." President said a lot of the zone leaders will actually be going to be junior companions to help out some individual missionaries. Shake the dust. President described how we're also going after the one. Shake the dust.  Unfortunately, some would say, I'll still be a zone leader. Shake the dust. But hey.. that's not the end of the world. I just thought I'd get a little break for a minute. That's probably why I'm not getting one. Smack to the face! I need it. 

The Atonement is without end

and so

are you,

Elder Trent Jay Merrill 

While My Dreams Gently Weep: February 3, 2014

I had a dream last night where I was watching a movie at home. I remember thinking, "This isn't what I want. I don't know what I want. I feel empty and unfulfilled." The dream went on to have car crashes and friends that were wounded while I remained untouched... out of the picture almost. I tried to help them but I was too busy asking myself, "Why am I not hurt? Am I sure that I'm not hurt? Why would everyone else be in so much pain and I'm standing here without a scratch?" I thought about it a little bit today and came to a couple of conclusions. 

1: My needs are unfulfilled as I seek to perfect myself through myself. 

2: Too much time checking on myself, and worrying about myself, limits any chance to help people who are within my reach. My friends were right there in my dream... I couldn't reach past myself.

3: Entertainment and casualty are empty illusions. A fool's chase in the long run. 

It's hard to shake thoughts like that when they're not leaving my mind. It is quite odd that I shared my dream with you... perhaps I'm looking for some catharsis.