Here I go, ‘round and around' until I’m back in the spot I was almost a year ago. The circular motions of repeating and redoing are before my face, on my right hand and on my left. “You’re here till the end,” President says with a half-smile, half painful looking face. It’s good to be back to the grind, to the pressure, to the sleep depriving contraption we've all come to call “The Office.” I am strongly exaggerating with that description, but they were the first words that came to mind. I think it’s time for me to shift my paradigms again. I look forward to the opportunities of failure and growth these last couple months. I hope it never ends- I’m learning that I don’t always get what I want unfortunately.
It’s interesting how in moments of change, the adversary exploits the vulnerability and I see in plain view all of my flaws and inadequacies. It’s almost refreshing, in a “being compelled to be humble” kind of way. It’s also kind of debilitating, in a more obvious way. I am grateful for my friend and Savior who is carrying me and loving me through it all. I feel at peace right now. I feel peace a lot. I know that I am understood and my footsteps are guided by He who has walked the road before me. I am also grateful to my wonderful family who is so unconditional in their love and encouragement. Love in the home, regardless of the distance that separates the people, is a powerful and essential tool of development, nurturing and progression. I know that families are divinely organized and appointed for the benefit of all mankind. My family means everything to me. I wish everyone in the world (more particularly in Everett, WA, for the time being) could feel the kind of comfort, appreciation and love that comes from a gospel centered home. It’s almost a tangible difference in the homes where the priesthood is strong, present and tied together with the bonds of the atonement and blessings from our Father in Heaven, than any other “whatever centered” houses. I have felt the difference. I know that God is a “family man” if you want to put it lightly, which I will, for the sake of simplicity and to get that point across. Mom and Dad, you are the ultimate example of Christ-like love and selfless service to our family. We all feel blessed, beyond belief and through the eternities, to be part of your wonderful family. Lindsay, Joe, McKenna: I have learned what true relationships, and love feels like because of the roles you play in my life. I know that I am never alone or without support when I have you guys around. For lack of a better phrase I know that you, “have my back,” in every situation and time. In short, I wish I could express my thanks and love for you all in a better, more meaningful, way than the typical clichés that too quickly flow from these ragged, nailed fingers of mine. I am forever in your debt.
This is the time of all times. The time for love, time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted (TIME TO HARVEST) A time to kill (evil), and a time to heal (broken hearts); a time to break down (muscles), and a time to build up (by eating protein); A time to weep (mission is ending), and a time to laugh (at myself) a time to mourn (with those that mourn, see Mosiah 18), and a time to dance (Mom, you got this one); A time to cast away stones(I love throwing rocks), and a time to gather stones together (Kenna could do that for me after I throw them); a time to embrace (my mission), and a time to refrain from embracing (beautiful women); A time to get (buff), and a time to lose (weight); a time to keep (working hard), and a time to cast away (chains of complacency and fears); A time to rend (what does rend mean again), and a time to sew (never learned how to do that); a time to keep silence(…….), and a time to speak (to the world about the restoration); A time to love (everyone), and a time to hate (Satan); a time of war (against your temptations), and a time of peace (Woodstock). (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8)
I never thought Ecclesiastes could say it so well. All I can do is slap an “Amen” sticker on that and call it quits. That was fun. You should try doing some mad libs with scriptures like that. Just throw in whatever applies to you where I did the parentheses and you’ll have yourself a somewhat light minded/more personal scripture to you.
This next week I’ll be up Northward on exchanges with a couple zone leaders and doing zone conferences around the mission. I’m quite excited. More giddy, than anything else. I’m constantly giggling and slapping my companion’s knee in a fit of excitement. It’s getting out of control.
Through time and eternity,
Elder Trent Jay Merrill
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