I had a dream last night where I was watching a movie at home. I remember thinking, "This isn't what I want. I don't know what I want. I feel empty and unfulfilled." The dream went on to have car crashes and friends that were wounded while I remained untouched... out of the picture almost. I tried to help them but I was too busy asking myself, "Why am I not hurt? Am I sure that I'm not hurt? Why would everyone else be in so much pain and I'm standing here without a scratch?" I thought about it a little bit today and came to a couple of conclusions.
1: My needs are unfulfilled as I seek to perfect myself through myself.
2: Too much time checking on myself, and worrying about myself, limits any chance to help people who are within my reach. My friends were right there in my dream... I couldn't reach past myself.
3: Entertainment and casualty are empty illusions. A fool's chase in the long run.
It's hard to shake thoughts like that when they're not leaving my mind. It is quite odd that I shared my dream with you... perhaps I'm looking for some catharsis.
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