Look at this little
old nugget of memories I found on the computer. My first day in the mission.
How adorable.
June 30, 2014
I feel very humbled to be at this point of the journey. I feel
emotions of happiness, peace, regret yet hope in the Lord. I feel calm and
appreciative of the experiences that I have been able to witness and live. I
feel that the changes that have happened within me on my mission have
fluctuated from time to time. At some points I felt like I was a totally
different person than I was before. I felt good and confident. Other times I
have felt like I am just running in the same circles that I did in the lifetime
before. All in all, as I look at the trend of progress and development, I have
seen a “mighty change” happen within me. I often think that if people on my
mission knew me just a few years before they would not have guessed that I am
who I am today. I am grateful for the atonement that has carried me and brought
me from the dust. Though I still stumble and falter, my eyes are fixed on the
unchangeable truths and principles that will lead me to salvation. I didn't
have that before. I was constantly “tossed to and fro,” not really knowing what
to build upon and what or whom to put my trust and devotion. I now know. I
cannot deny it. I thank my mission for that truth and I treasure the objective
truth about my Father in Heaven, His son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost,
which has testified to my mind and heart of the things that I now know. I think
if I had to sum up a large portion of my mission, with all the lessons through
failure and success, it would be found in this scripture:
Luke 22: 31-32 And the Lord said, Simon,
Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you
as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou
art converted, strengthen thy brethren.
I have been on both ends of that scripture
throughout this short time as a missionary. I have felt the temptations. I have
felt the prayers of my loved ones and the strengthening power of Christ. The
happiest times of my mission, however, have been as I have “strengthened my
brethren.” I have come to know, through experience and observation that true
and lasting happiness comes through obedience to the gospel and serving with
love those who are around me. I also have come to know that I am nothing
without the spirit. The spirit is what gives me utterance and allows me to be
effective and powerful.
I am in the home stretch. This next week,
like usual, will be a busy one. Exchanges from north to south and meetings in
between. I'm ready for the lessons I need to learn.
I'm just going along, doing my thing, playing
the fool, not really knowing what's ahead of me. I don't know what to tell you
of what's going on in my day to day life. Something we're working on is redoing
all of the metrics and reporting systems in our meetings across the mission.
I'm getting quite good with excel. It's fun. It's different side of missionary
work, for sure. I don't feel as good at the end of the day. We still get to
proselyte sometimes. We had a couple people at church and a couple with a date
for baptism. So, all in all, I can't complain. I love my God. I love my family.
I love my mission.
Hey, I love you.
Elder Trent Jay Merrill
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